#standwithkaren

In 2 out of 3 female homicide cases, females are killed by a family member or intimate partner.

Cardross. It’s a small community, where everyone knows everyone else's business. Where it feels like if anything bad was going to happen, someone would surely step in before it could go too far.

On Sunday, just a couple of miles from my childhood home, Karen Belej was found dead with a single gunshot wound to the head. She was 31. She worked at the city council as a HR Officer. And she was a strong advocate for the domestic violence organization, White Ribbon.

Her boyfriend, Brandon Osborn, is the person who killed her.

I knew her as a teenager. When I saw the news report posted on Facebook citing her as the victim, I was immediately transported back to the last memory I have of her. She was an incredibly sweet, quiet, smiley girl.

Gang violence, war, suicide bombings. They all seem to be driven by the need for power, control and something greater than themselves. Never does this type of violence end with both parties finding a mutually agreeable resolution and going their separate ways. It ends with destruction, harm and often death.

Domestic violence is no different. In fact, it has few extra elements that make it even more senseless and cruel: 1) The attacker is often far stronger than its victim and can assert violence both mentally and psychically. 2) These acts of harm are done behind closed doors, in the privacy of the home. 3) The victim often has to sleep next to the person who is abusing her.

This violence sweeps across communities all over the world and is often too taboo to discuss. It wasn’t brought to my attention until a girl I knew growing up was murdered by her boyfriend. Yet it’s happening all around me. I have no doubt. I just don’t see it. But someone else does. Neighbors, friends, co-workers.

People make excuses; “it’s not my business to interfere in their relationship”. YES IT IS. It’s not interfering. It’s quite possibly saving someones life. Or at least helping them avoid a mental or physical beating. What makes it more difficult is that even when help is offered, sometimes the victim is so scared of their partner, they will explain the pain away.

Don’t give up on helping someone who is living with domestic violence. They need you.

Share this post far and wide if you believe no one should suffer through domestic violence. To learn more about White Ribbon, visit their website.