What I learned in 1,5 years without Facebook
I spent a year and a half without Facebook and lived to tell the tale.
It’s funny that I’m even writing this, as 10 years ago I didn’t have a social media account and I was doing just fine.
But slowly, I allowed Facebook to infiltrate my life to the point where I was wasting a ridiculous amount of time on the platform. I was telling myself ‘it’s not too bad, I’m keeping in touch with friends’.
In reality, I was just rationalising my scrolling habit.
I know I’m not alone. I can see you scrolling at cafes and restaurants, in the underground, everywhere. We’ve become so addicted to social media.
In 2017, the average global social media usage was 135 minutes daily, growing steadily for the past few years.
That’s over 2 hours per day spent on social media! Let that sink in. Imagine what else you could be doing with that time.
Deactivating Facebook
In 2016, I was writing my Masters dissertation and instead of focusing on my work, I kept wasting time on Facebook. Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I decided to close my account until I finished my degree.
The first few days without Facebook brought a weird revelation. I had no self-control.
I frequently found myself having opened my laptop browser to go on Facebook. Automatically. Without any conscious intention!
However, I quickly realised I actually enjoyed life without social media. I liked it so much, I didn’t reactivate my account for a whole year. Since then I re-opened my account and closed it again.
Here’s what life without Facebook looks like:
More time
This is obvious, but important. Decluttering Facebook meant I suddenly had much more time to dedicate to activities that actually matter to me. This was the best aspect of not being on social media (I wasn’t active on other social media sites).
Realising how much time I was mindlessly wasting made me more determined to take control and change that. I had to do something else with my time, and I started being more intentional about how I spent it.
I’m by no means perfect at this, but I’m better than I used to be, which feels great.
Keeping in touch with friends
Previously, a quick ‘like’ felt like being in touch with someone, but it really wasn’t. In reality, social media has been shown to make us feel more socially isolated.
Nowadays, if I want to keep in touch, I have to contact my friends and ask how they’re doing, the old-fashioned way. This has led to more meaningful conversations and stronger friendships. It’s also nice to be able to actually catch up with someone without already knowing their news.
One of the main things people fear about closing Facebook is losing touch with people. You just can’t cultivate 500 friendships.
But for me it wasn’t an issue. You aren’t really losing touch, you were already out of touch. How many Facebook friends are your real friends? Seeing people’s pictures every now and then on your feed doesn’t count. Unless you talk to people, ‘liking’ pictures doesn’t keep a friendship alive.
Nowadays, you can keep Messenger active even with your Facebook account closed. So there, you can still contact your 1st grade best friend if you want to. But it probably won’t happen.
No comparisons or useless information consumption
For passive scrollers (like myself), not comparing yourself to anyone online feels great. It’s no news that constantly seeing everyone’s fake perfect life or perfect beauty (thanks to the right picture angle, make-up and filters) can lower self-esteem.
Also, you really don’t need to know what everyone else is doing. Of course, seeing what your friends are up to can be nice, but not when you keep scrolling for half an hour without realising it.
I was also consuming a ton of pointless videos, memes, and all that stuff. They just show up on your feed and are impossible to resist.
‘But they’re funny or informative. It’s not really a waste of time.’
Really? Do you ever search for these videos? I never wake up thinking ‘hmm, I feel like watching funny cats’. It doesn’t happen because I don’t need these in my life. I was passively watching them. Now I’m actively looking away.
Seeking validation online
I was rarely posting anything, but this article would be incomplete without at least mentioning validation-seeking behaviour.
You don’t need to prove you’re living the dream. Your worth isn’t measured by the number of likes.
Just live life for yourself.
Reactivating my account
Clearly, I’m not a fan of social media. From a personal perspective, it was a waste of time, and my life is better without it.
However, I do have to admit that it’s a good tool for promotion for businesses, freelancers or artists.
Facebook groups can also be really useful for meeting people in your field, or people with similar passions.
Life without Facebook was really nice, but the time has come to reactivate my account.
This time, I’ll try to see it as a tool, and control it using Facebook’s time management function. I want to see if Facebook and other social media sites can help me as a freelancer. I want to join some relevant groups and make connections. I might share my Medium posts on social media too.
I also want to be able to promote other people by sharing their content. I have many friends who are either small business owners or artists, who really deserve recognition. Social media gives us a great opportunity to lift each other up.
For any freelancers/writers: have you used Facebook or other social media (other than LinkedIn) in your professional life? How has it helped you? Do you share your blog/Medium posts on social media?
For those of you who are only using social media for your personal life: I highly recommend trying out a detox. Go a month or three without using social media. It doesn’t have to be a permanent break-up, you can always come back to it.
But if and when you reactivate your account, hopefully you’ll be able to use it better, instead of letting it control you.
If you liked this post, I happily accept an unlimited number of claps.
And there I was, talking about not seeking validation online. Oh well.
