Ana La fata
Nov 7 · 2 min read

Hi Suzanne,

I identify myself totally with your comment. It happened to me exactly the same way as you describe. But I managed to get over it. I also was blocking and unblocking him, replying, etc. But one day I told him that unless I have to block him forever unless I have a clear reply. And the reply wasn’t clear…yet again. I blocked him everywhere AND deleted the number. I imagined myself like a spoiled child who hurl down to the floor and start screaming because she doesn’t have what she wants. And sometimes you just have to accept things, even if they are not the way you’d like them. I decided to withdraw all the benefit of the doubt and started to looking for the signs he DOESN’T care instead. I forced myself to do it. And I found plenty of them! In fact, everything. I saw myself ridiculous and got angry about it. I got angry at myself for allowing all this to happen, for getting into this trap where another person just plays with me. I imagined how stupid I look for him and got even more upset. I made a huge effort to stop any attempts to contact him, reminding myself every time how stupid I look and maybe even how annoying it could be for him. I told myself that I should stand tall and not make a fool of myself. So it was basically the first path. And then I tried to go to sleep as early as I can, because at night these thoughts are worse. And do yourself a favor… if you happen to be awake, NEVER EVER take any action in the evening (like texting, unblocking, calling and saying this or that, etc.), just wait until morning, no matter how wonderful this idea looks to you. And in the morning go back to step 1 (see above) and everything clicks back in place, so no action is needed anymore.

In the last three months I went to gym every day and destroyed myself until I wasn’t able to think bullshit. I lost 14 kg, got in a great shape, and it was a great bonus! I also got to work on great projects, made a lot of new friends, learned drawing and dancing swing…. And now it’s only a sad feeling sometimes, but I learned to live without it. Not without him, because now I know he’s not the hero. The hero is dopamine and my fantasy, and “he” never really existed. I just let go my fantasy about what this person would never be.

It’s just my personal experience. I hope, it helps you… Remember, he is not what your fantasy tells you. He simply doesn’t care. Why should you.

    Ana La fata

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