i just wish i could feel the want to be alive again.
i wish i could want to go to work, get a degree, go out with friends, have dinner with my family, create a life for myself, move out, get a car, find someone, live a little.
but i have no motivation for any of that. all i want is to lay here, until it succumbs me. until i drown in my own misery. until i’m done.