Mya Cockutani: The Asexual Porn Reviewer

Like his critically acclaimed 2010 triple X-er, “Slut Cycle: Yoga Pants And Spinning Milfs,” Chad Hardwood’s newest film, “No Country Girls For Old Dick” concerns a horny female protagonist who finds herself needing the comfort of both men and women to fill unexplored psychological scars.

The similarities end there. “Slut Cycle” remained a closed off film, becoming a preachy meditation on the exercise fad, and while full of classic porn references, they all turn out to be gratuitous.

“No Country Girls” is set largely in the west, perhaps Montana, but remarkably it stays mostly inside Dick Pecker’s ranch style home. The old man, once a successful music producer, plays host to a plethora of aspiring country singers who he attempts to sleep with. This is the setting that the innocent young country singer Nashville Twisty, played by Nikki Nashville, enters.

Hardwood proceeds to give us both an amusing satire of post modern directors like the Cohen brothers, and a laconic ode to to the urban woman. “No Country Girls” is by far his most mature work. While “Slut Cycle” struggled to find a vision, focusing with too anatomical a lens, and turning it into an amusement ride without pitch or depth, “No Country Girl” is full of positional versatility.

The cinematography of “No Country Girls” pays homage to the western backdrop. Dusty scenes upon straw in the barn. Lustful vignettes with the sun slung low on the horizon, it is both evocative and challenging.

The dialogue is esoteric, and only careful connoisseurs of the western porn genre will get much of it. For example, here is an exchange between Nashville and Dick during a moving and brilliantly acted final scene:

Nashville: “How did you sleep?”

Dick: “I had dreams.”

The story is interspersed with action sequences. Making his adult film debut, Henry Hardwood (no relation) plays the brooding farmhand Javier Buttman. The character of Buttman gives the film added emotional depth. His odd habit of flipping a coin to decide upon certain perversions may rub the viewer the wrong way at times, but with Hardwood’s stewardship, the film’s first ten minutes, and final minute, are sure to be watched for years to come.

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