Most underrated pleasures of one’s life: “Being understood”

What we look in our parents at early age, partners or spouse, always in our best friends, in that colleague we respect and in leaders we adore? Often we misplace the reason for our strong bonds with all these category of people. I believe that one of the biggest drivers of good relationship in our lives is a developed level of understanding in those relationships. The relationships without this understanding end up creating too much maintenance work. So it becomes more like baggage or at least something which needs attention or care rather than fun.

I realized it with a couple of friends of mine. Recently my “friend ecosystem” had a sudden disruption. A couple of them were leaving although I still have a couple around. I am also adding a couple of new once. The whole change made me thoughtful. I started to think about the trigger for being better friends with some. It turns out that among the large number of other factors, one of the key one is being understood. It can then be extended to personal and even business relationships.

While hiring a key employee one can be sure that it will work well if the other person enjoys and understands you well. It comes from how aligned is your way of thinking, expressions, intended jokes and covert judgments etc.. It will be far more productive as the relationship related maintenance is low and you can focus on actual output. It can help you even when you are looking for the funding partners, seed capital or business joint venture. Focus on bring understood and take you in a far more comfortable zone.

Finally how do you ensure you are understood? To start with make sure that the people who matters to you in any capacity like business, managerial, personal or family have an open relationship with you. Creating an open environment in which other can discuss the constructive aspects or difficult discussion is important. Being caring and respectful to someone and being truthful are two different things. Truthfulness is as important as being respectful and caring. In long term truthfulness will result in caring relationship. Unless you are understood well and have an open relationship, you can’t be truthful.

Finally when you get to that level with the person where you are completely understood, it will be awesome feeling!

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