What Would You Do If Your Friend Is Suicidal?

Ananta Paramananda
Jul 21, 2017 · 4 min read
Photograph by Edward Honaker

“Dear, my beloved wife.

I’m sure you’re the first who read this, in our sweet bedroom, if you still remember.
I hope you can love me only for the last time.

I’m so sorry.

For being a bad husband, a bad father for your children.

A man who even can’t provide good support for his family.

I just can’t live in this world again.

I hope at the time after my death, God gives a better life for the people around me, without me.

Sincerely,

Simon”

Simon was wrong. Ted, reads a note on his work colleague’s hand, cold and stiff — with a white-yellowy froth coming out from his opened mouth on his typical office worker shirt and slacks, lying down on bed — still with a tie and a suit on his body after today’s meeting at work. A slow ballad and depressing song from the small Bluetooth speaker in the corner of the room.

Ted immediately falls on his knees — feeling overly guilty and upset — realizing earlier that day Simon came to his office, talking about his personal problems.

Yes, I just told him to not overreacting, forget the problem, and move on.

Just if Ted realize earlier, that Simon was seeking for help.

Simon is mainly quiet, a bit anti-social with a few-to-none friend.

But, he sent hi frequently to Ted and sometimes told Ted stories. From his childhood, to present things.

Ted starts to think that he is the only person Simon trust and share his stories with.

But it’s too late, Ted feels he has failed him.

Suicide is Simon’s choice, but Ted still takes it as his responsibility.

Ted’s worst moment ever.

Photograph by Edward Honaker

What is depression?

Based on American Psychiatric Association, depression is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act and have some symptoms such as:

  • Feeling sad or having a depressed mood
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
  • Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting
  • Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
  • Loss of energy or increased fatigue
  • Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., hand-wringing or pacing) or slowed movements and speech (actions observable by others)
  • Feeling worthless or guilty
  • Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions
  • Thoughts of death or suicide

You might think that depression sounds too novel for everyday’s life, but it isn’t.

Based on research by ADAA (Anxiety and Depression Association of America), in 2014 around 15.7 million American adults age 18 or older (6.7%) experienced at least one major depressive episode in the last year. As many as 2 out of 100 young children and 8 out of 100 teens may have serious depression.

Several times,

Can we prevent suicide?

No, you can’t. But you can make people less depressed.

Treatment of depression mainly consists of:

  1. Antidepressant medications
  2. Counseling

I’m not an expert or what on this topic, but its a common practice on suicide prevention that even a simple “Hello” or “How are you?” can make a person feels their presence is wanted.

I personally hate such small talks. I frequently thought that small talks have no point at all.

But,

A simple hello can lead to many things

Also,

How did you know a simple hi saves someone’s life for a day?

How did you know your small talks means much more for a person?

How did you know that your presence means much more for someone?

“Humans are social being, human needs others to continue their life”

This statement makes more sense now, so

“You can’t stand against the world, but we can.”

Also, a common problem that is:

If you ever feel like you understand someone’s problem, I have something to tell you: No, you don’t. Motivational quotes such as: “I feel you”, “Don’t worry, no storm can last forever”, “Don’t overthink it, just move on”. These quotes might sound cute and sweet, but these are bullsh*t

So, what can we do?

You can do 3 basic things to help a close friend/relatives on help:

  1. Be there
  2. Listen carefully and make sure you looked care about him/her
  3. Encourage him/her to meet the professional

No, don’t ever think you can solve this problem alone.


I hope this post can raise our awareness of suicide for better human existence. Feel free to give feedback and responses.


Sources:

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression

https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/depression

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/irene-s-levine/friend-with-depression_b_3787776.html

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