“..Anger and agony are better than misery..”
While talking to a friend last night , I was introduced to these words ,listening to which I felt as if I could easily go back to normal, things actually can go back to normal! Well, I know you must be completely oblivious to what I am saying but then settle in your seat for some time and hear me out and give answers to some questions I am going to ask you.
Have you ever felt your opinion doesn’t matter?
Have you ever felt that to whatever you say, you are just misunderstood?
Have you ever felt the need to have it together at all times?
Have you been through the “too-much-expectations” pressure ?
Well , I might have lost a few of you by this but for some of you who got more of a yes than no to the above questions, read on as I plan to demystify and crystallize the many apprehensions you have.
I am sure, many of us go through days where we disappoint someone or ourselves, or maybe we make ourselves happy ! And the reasons for happiness vary for different people. For example, some might be happy if they can strike off everything from the list they put on for that day, or they might be happy because they slept really well, had a tasty meal, met someone and all that jazz. But, what about the part where you are not happy! I am mostly concerned about that. Let me just base this on myself and try to help you out if I can. So, for instance, I get upset if I am unable to cope up with the day planner I made in the morning for myself, or I get upset when I have a quarrel with someone , or if someone shouts on me .But there are other moments when I am angry on someone for misunderstanding me, for criticizing me beyond limits , for doing something which shouldn’t have happened. And what happens is I get upset when I am angry and, trust me, the intersection of these two different roads doesn’t lead to a good emotional path! This is the moment when I usually start thinking too much and start blaming myself for a variety of things and start forming a different set of rules for myself.
Now, what exactly does the quoted part in the beginning of this article mean?
Its very simple. Be angry, be sad but never make yourself feel miserable about the cause.
I’ll put this to test in two cases:
For example, being the youngest one in the house, you have the habit of being treated like a baby who is supposed to entertain everyone, keep everyone happy all the time. But then when it comes to serious talks, your advice is neglected. They sure listen to you , but they “just” listen to you. And, if at all you don’t participate in the discussions, you are misunderstood . Your nonparticipative-ness is mistaken for being negligent and rude and you get a long “we-expect-from-you-to-participate-too” talk.
Well,you might end up being sad and mad at them , but don’t let yourself be affected by this ..let them say. Do what you think is right. If they don’t listen to you, keep speaking up , some day they will. Don’t keep it in you, let it out! Because if you don’t let it out, one day it might just burst all at once and I don’t think it will be a very good scene.
Second, now for example, you still have feelings for your ex and you still talk to him/her. Now, maybe you know for sure that your ex has no feelings left for you at all! And suppose you want to meet him , and you are asking him if he is free anytime for catching up and all you ever get as a reply is a no with different reasons (and all valid reasons,hopfelly ) . But , what goes through your mind is that maybe he just doesn’t want to meet you . And you feel all sad and angry at the kind of short replies he gives you and you keep asking yourself why you ever liked him in the first place, that why did you ever let him close to you, why did u fall for all those sweet things!
So, what should you really be telling yourself! Tell yourself that , meeting him was a great experience. According to me , dating lets you know a lot about yourself. You simply become just more aware of yourself! So, just rewind your memory and try to remember of the moments of which he was a part and learn and cherish and hope for someone better because life doesn’t end after a break up, it just opens your door to a better future, because this time you will handle yourself better and fall for someone better! I am not telling you to be sad or angry but don’t let it get you! Don’t make yourself feel miserable about something that according to you, you shouldn’t have done because, you did nothing wrong. You did whatever you felt was right at that moment!
So, there may be times when you are super sad and super mad at someone. But all you have to keep in mind is that, don’t let it affect you ! keep doing what you do ! You were never wrong, or even if you were, figure it out and move on! All you should be clear about is that, feeling bad , sad and angry is totally fine! But never make yourself feel miserable!!! Because as long as you are firm from the inside, nothing can break you!
So, I rest my case here. Peace. :p