Today I am 30! And, finally, I feel happy about that.

Some nights, when I was a child, I would argue with my father because he used to close the blinds in a way that the light couldn’t get in, in the morning. It made me mad! Well, that’s what I told him, but it wasn’t the whole story. I had a secret that I wouldn’t tell anybody: I was waiting for Peter Pan, and if my father closed the blinds all the way up, I couldn’t see Peter Pan or Tinker Bell’s light. I wanted to go to Neverland so much. Oh, flying and having fun all the time, no worries at all. Yeah!!!!

So, as you have already come to the conclusion, Peter Pan didn’t show up and I am not very fond of “ageing”. And in the past few days I have been confronted with the imminency of today, my thirtieth birthday. As I am writing this post and for the first time in the last 3 weeks, I am finally not getting teary when I write or say the word thirty. People were mocking me about that. I was mocking myself too. Seriously?

I was mourning my twenties. And I am entitled to that. I had a lot of expectations for myself and for my life. I am so happy for those that happened and those that didn’t happen. Life was not what I dreamt of all the time, and that’s ok. By not fulfilling my dreams, I found better ones. And I am so grateful for that. Even when I felt lost, I found myself by following that quiet voice, that gut feeling, that desire, that hope. Yeah, girl, you made it! I’m so proud.

I grew up. I grew old. I grew wiser. I grew forward. I grew upward. I grew inward. Most of all, I grew happier, in love with life and grateful. I set myself free to live fully.

So, allow me to share some of the things that I learned while trying to live and that brought easiness and happiness to my life.

Important warning: these are just some rules and values that I have learnt to live by. I just wish I knew them earlier. You know, reading about laughter is different from laughing, so don’t be surprised to have some of those “Aha Moments” when you experience some of these.

Love is all around

And this is the reason why you cannot exist unloved. If you don’t feel loved it’s the storm of unnecessary (and stupid) thoughts in your mind or the amount of unnecessary (and stupid) people around you that don’t let you feel that. So, trust that you are loved. Have better thoughts and surround yourself with better people. And having better thoughts basically means being a better person to yourself.

Gratitude

Of big things. Of smaller things. Of important things. Of things that aren’t so important. You will be happier. It has to be a habit. If you don’t feel like having a journal to write some things you are grateful for everyday, at least think about them everyday, pick a time, you can even do that when you wash your teeth. Most of all, feel the gratitude. It’s so good.

Forgive Yourself and Others

All the anger, sadness, rage, deception, resentment or whatever negative feelings you are experiencing, will disappear. If you want to feel light, get rid of the weight. This weight won’t let you live the life you deserve to live. If you burnt yourself on a oven, would you be resentful to all the ovens of the same brand? Apparently knowing how you got burnt is enough not to get burnt again. No resentment. It happened. Just that. It’s in the past.

Another thing, to forgive, you just have to be willing to forgive. Wanting to forgive and not be willing to forgive doesn’t take you anywhere. And then wish good things to that person or yourself, if that’s the case. Then they are free and you are free too. Free and light.

You don’t need other people to forgive you. Forgive youself. Their forgiveness will arrive eventually. Make peace with yourself.

Be your own hero

When you are in a situation that is not good for you, you have the permission, the power, the strength and skills to change it. If that situation cannot be changed, at least change your attitude. You are in control of your life and the way you experience it.

It doesn’t matter if you have to protect yourself from others or from yourself. If you feel like shit, depressed, sad, angry, confused, or on the opposite spectrum of happiness, it’s not the place to be. Don’t wait for anyone to tell you to leave. And if someone else tells you to stay, listen to yourself first, not just the thoughts, but the feelings.

Your are the guardian of your body

So be a good guardian. Know your body. Sometimes we know more about our bodies than the doctors. You know what makes you feel good and bad. If you need to make changes, don’t base them solely on will power. Structure them with new habits and remind yourself of the goals of the change and why they are important to you. The closer you are to creating a new habit, the harder it will feel, but after that, no more resistance.

Remember, you know your tricks. You know how to self sabotage. So, be prepared. If you know that you never recall any of the 30 alarms that you turned off in the morning, like me, set alarm clocks in the kitchen or in the bathroom.

Human beings are social

Yes they are. You know it. People are important. People that you hang out with are even more. You are the average of the people that spend more time with you. So pick wisely. And you know what? When you are good to yourself, you won’t tolerate people that aren’t as good to you or behaviours that aren’t as good.

Generosity

With thoughts. With intentions. With words. With actions.

You are not alone. The other people around you exist, with their own feelings, thoughts, problems and perspectives, all moulded by what happened to their lives in the past. Be good to them. Help them. We are here for each other. Care about them, just as you would like them to care about you.

If you find yourself tired or angry, be careful, sometimes we forget that if our cup is empty, we cannot fill the cup of others.

Think kind to yourself

This is so important and so hard to understand. We talk to ourselves all day long, and we don’t even realize how many times we insult yourselves by thinking “I am so stupid” or “I hate myself.”. We also demand too much of ourselves. It is the easiest route to disappointment. And too much disappointment takes us to an internal mode of “It’s not worth it” and we stop doing things that we dream of, whether it’s conscious or not.

Don’t you agree that everyone should follow their dreams? And that everyone is uniquely awesome? And that everyone deserves to live happy? You do. And you also feel that. So how about agreeing that you are another human being that deserves good too? And feeling it too. Saying and not feeling is pointless.

Your inner dialogue will influence what you say, how you feel and what you do. It will even influence the way you talk to other people and what you think about them. When you are good to yourself, you won’t let anybody else treat you any less than that. I know that I am repeating myself here, but when we let other people hurt us, we start accepting that we deserve to be hurt, and this means that we will allow other people to hurt us too and we will hurt ourselves.

Know yourself

Some people cannot see that they are doing shit. Or behaving like shit. Ask someone that really knows you and is wise. Write a bit. This helps to structure your ideas. Record audio. Or video.

Hint, if you feel upset about someone or his behaviour, it’s likely that you are making the same mistake.

Change and Life

Change is constant. Don’t make it personal. Keep expecting good. You will live hopeful. The hard times won’t seem so hard. The good times will feel even better and will be enjoyed fully.

And one thing: you can’t change people. People change themselves, when they want and how they want. You can help, but in their own terms. This is the same for you.

Live your life fully. It is the best way to teach people to do the same.

Fun. Pleasure. Happiness. Joy. Love.

Lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots.

Got it?

Unwind

Because that brain and body of yours needs rest. Meditate, make a wool sweater, Yoga, I don’t care. Tone down the effect that your emotions have over your brain. Clean your mind. It will give you clarity. You will feel physically and emotionally balanced. You will sleep better. You will be happier. You will feel more peaceful and calm. You will be better at being with people. You will be more present.

Yay! You made it to the end! You are awesome!

And you are a wonderful and unique being that deserves good. You have the right to exist just because you exist. Even if talking about this seems exaggerated, some people need to be remembered about this, specially the overachievers that keep on doing things in order to feel deserving or useful enough to be in the world.

Have a life full of peace, love, prosperity, resplendent health, happiness, joy and freedom.

Love, Ana