Withhold the grandchildren — how to solve the Trump situation

A certain sort of pedant will tell you that the problem is not Donald Trump. The problem is Donald Trump’s supporters.

Indeed, his approval ratings have held steady through all of his monstrous acts. As he called Nazis ‘very fine people’ or insulted a Gold Star widow by saying her husband ‘knew what he signed up for’, his rating has stayed steady at about 40 percent. It hasn't’ wavered much since April.

What’s more, these people have cowed the GOP into playing lapdog to Trump’s insanity. Senators and congressmen are legitimately worried about Trump’s growing instability but unwilling to say anything in public because they are worried that the baying mob will turn on them. Abnd they seem to be right.

His followers seem unwilling to make him accept any consequences for his actions.

So, what are we, Joe and Jane Public, to do about this? We enact consequences. We withhold the grandchildren.

If your parent is a Trump supporter, they don’t get to see the grandkids at Thanksgiving. Have a ‘Friendsgiving’, go to the in-laws, stay home, whatever, as long as you do NOT have a Thanksgiving meal with them. When they ask, you tell them why: you do not want to expose your children to someone who is supporting Trump.

If your uncle is a Trump supporter, you don’t invite him to Thanksgiving. If your mom insists on inviting him, then you stay home. Make it clear to your mom why. Is it fair that you are making her choose between her grandkids and her brother? No. Is it fair that you are living in a dystopian novel? No. We are not obliged to be fair all the time.

Every time we give cover to Trump supporters, we bolster them a little bit. Every time we ‘don’t talk about politics’ at the Thanksgiving table, we say that we know what their politics are and that we find them at least nominally acceptable. We say that there is space at the table for what they believe.

Tolerance is a reasonable accommodation in a healthy society. But we’re not there any more — there are Nazis in the street and a monster in the White House. We need to draw a line. And that line is Thanksgiving.

Will this blow up some relationships? Probably. Do you want to have a relationship with someone who values Trump over you? Probably not.

To forestall the whole nonsense about ‘we need to reach out and help them understand’ or worse ‘we should be listening with compassion’— look again at that approval rating. Steady since April. Coaxing these people back from their delusions is going to take until the heat death of the universe. They are beyond morals, logic and empathy.