Be bona fide, please!

Do you think any of these desserts would turn out this beautiful if they were not made with love? OF COURSE, NO. Today I would like to talk about doing something for bona fide reasons instead of doing them, because this is “what you are supposed to do”.

Yesterday I received a gift from an old friend. She had moved away 5 years ago and we have not seen each other since then. At first, we talked regularly, then less and less. Where she lives, you can buy anything and you won`t have to pay a lot. Where I live, there is not much choice and everything is more expensive, even if it is of lower quality. This is why she sent me some great gifts on my birthdays, whereas I had to come up with creative (but much lower in terms of pricing) options for hers. Actually, every time I went on a trip and had a chance to buy something special for her — I did. When I did not have such an opportunity — I either sent her some warm words or printed out a bunch of our old pictures and created a nostalgic album for her, which I put in a box full of her favourites candies. To me, it seemed like a great gift.

What I saw in a “package” yesterday was a piece of clothing, bought at the chepeast store of all with the lowest quality possible. The sign on the piece of paper in the bag simply said my name; it was meant to be my birthday gift. Frankly speaking, if I opened it on my actual birthday, I would have been incredibly upset, because the gift literally screamed at me: “I DO NOT CARE”. So why bother and buy it? For the sake of doing it? For the sake of crossing out a part of a to-do list? WHY? Aren`t presents supposed to have some soul? Isn`t it what matters the most?

Hold on. If you started thinking that I am a brat, who is not capable of appreciating time and attention and money spent on me, you got me wrong. I never expect to receive anything at all, far less something expensive or extraordinary, I believe that even a card can be an incredible present, if it has special sincere (!) words inside. What I am talking about here is that this present would have never been chosen and sent, if it had been done due to a bona fide desire to congratulate me. This is what I got upset about. Also, yes, there was my ego involved too. Why would you think I needed this piece of fabrique? What is this, a charity donation? I don`t need it. At some point, I even wanted to send a mean message, but then I stopped myself, because this would have been incredibly rude, and I did not want to go there.

I simply believe that gifts are such a special part of our lives, that they should be given sincerely and with heart or not given at all. I have had times, when I could buy proper gifts and I have had times, when I struggled due to lack of money, but I have always been thoughtful and…I have always felt excited about buying something for someone. Little things matter the most. Little things are usually the most special ones. When you know someone well, it is SO easy to buy something for them, to make them feel loved. So easy…if you put some thoughts into it, if you take your time, if you have such a desire, if you care for real.

Unfortunately, people do not always have those things. Sometimes they just do it, because they have to or because they are expected to. Well, tonight I would like to ask you to not buy presents simply to buy them. Please don`t do it! And if you really have to — put other things aside and take some time for thinking, put a tiny bit of your soul into the process, and never let yourself get such a gift, that will scream: “I DO NOT CARE”, because it really hurts to receive those.