I am very sorry to hear that you are in so much pain. If she says so — give her a chance. Moreover, give her time and space. I have no idea what happened between the two of you, but be patient right now. Also, be kind both to her and to yourself. Wait till the end of the month and see what happens then. If she does not come — go somewhere, change everything. Meanwhile, make yourself really-really busy, organize your life in such a manner that you won`t have time or energy to think about her and to feel miserable. No matter what happens, I am sure, you can cope with it! You can and you will be fine! At times, life seems to be unbearably hard, but it is not always going to be this way! I wish you all the best!