Monday meaning

Last week was kind of a vacation for me, so today I am trying to get back into shape (=productive mode). Although it feels like I am never in this state. I am a horrible procrastinator and all sorts of questions simply overflow my head, and as a result, I cannot concentrate on the things I have to do and on the things I need to do. Yes, those are different things.

I have been thinking a lot about the controversy of what I think. I do realize it is possible, as I have an issue with it, but I am not capable of explaining it to myself. How can I despise someone for particular traits and then love someone despite those traits? Or how can I be totally opposed to some ideas, but end up accepting them and maybe even choosing them for me and my life. What is going on? Sometimes I feel like I am a totally different person; that I live with a particular idea of who I am and what I am like, but in reality I am a totally different person. What do I do with it? How do I cope?

Seriously, I am very confused. And, I guess, I could say that the phase of “being lost” goes on.

P.S. As I hear the words, that I am typing here, in my head, I think to myself that if someone else started telling this story, I would simply advise concentrating on accomplishing something. At the moment, I have to prepare for my exams in November, and I need to write an article which requires reading a lot of additional information, and type, edit and interview I did a bit more than a week ago. Moreover, I need to start my yoga again. So, why do not I simply start performing these tasks? And maybe the answers to my pervious questions will appear on the way.

P.S. 2 Have a good day, you all!