There is No Secret

People always look for easy solutions, because they are built this way. I am too, by the way. However, when you actually try to accomplish something, you discover that nothing worthy is possible without effort. This is a subject I have been thinking about for a while and I have finally found the way to express my opinion.
I am often asked “what is the secret to this or that?” and I never have a response that people expect. The only thing that I can say and that I try to say all the time is that there is no secret. Everything you achieve is the result of your actions, and if you are not satisfied, it means that you did not try hard enough. If you want something to change — you should do whatever is required for that change to happen. I suggest to ignore the circumstances that you cannot affect and concentrate on the things that you are responsible for. Deal?
“How can I wake up earlier? What is the secret?”
Figure out the reason to wake up earlier. Is there anything you want to do, but lack time for? I sincerely believe that all of us would win thanks to starting the day earlier, but it is crucially important to know your particular reason. I know mine, and there are quite a few of them, which is why I have previously written these posts: morning rituals, on waking up early and on waking up even earlier. If you are interested, go read them first and then come back, if you are not — let`s move on.
Set your alarm earlier than you usually do. If you are used to starting your day at eight, don`t torture yourself by trying to move to six right away. However, do not be too soft with yourself either. Try seven thirty and move to seven in a few days. Be ready that you will feel tired at first, but your body needs to adjust. Be patient! When I get off this wagon, it is always hard to get back, but I remember why I need it, so I do whatever it takes. And yes, some of the days are very challenging.
Start going to sleep earlier. There is no way I could wake up at five am on a regular basis without going to bed before ten pm. I would bear it for some time, but then I would collapse both emotionally and physically. I can see the direct effect of going to bed later than I intend to. The morning after that is as painful as if I were trying to wake up this early for the first time ever. Making these changes is not easy, but it is necessary.
“How can I learn a foreign language? What is the secret?”
Distinguish your motivation. Why do you want to learn it? Do you need it for your studies or your work? Would you like to be able to read articles and books in it or watch movies without dubbing? I think that everyone must know at least one foreign language (preferably English) really well. However, just like with waking up, to achieve your goal, you need to know the reason you decided to do it in the first place.
Find a tutor or a language school. I believe that it is more effective to have a tutor, but I understand that it is more expensive, and it is actually difficult to fine a good one. So, if a language school is the available option — go for it. Find a school, choose a course, pass a test and start attending classes. Do not see it as a torture, see it as an accomplishment every time you go there. Praise yourself for doing it, imagine being comfortable, while speaking, reading and writing in a foreign language. That feeling is fantastic! Let those thoughts be your additional motivation.
Dedicate your time to it. If your attitude towards education is the one most of us had at school, be ready to not have any outstanding results. If you are only willing to do the required minimum — do not even start, because you will waste your money and time. However, if you are motivated to accomplish great results — set your priorities straight. Make a plan to study every single day. It can become your reason to wake up earlier and spend an hour learning the language.
“How can i get the job of my dreams? What is the secret?”
Find out as much as you can about this job. It is very easy thanks to the Internet. Just google the job title, find people who do what you want to do and absorb everything there is. You have to have a clear understanding of the position, if this is the goal you are eager to achieve.
Analyse your skills. What can you do and what can you not? I bet there is something important for the job that you are not capable of, because this is normal. Google again! Read about it and try to practice, if that is possible. Make sure that you make an effort to get better, to grow, to learn something new all the time. Being stagnant is just awful!
Apply for a job everywhere. I am sorry, I am going to be rude and direct — people who expect that their first job will be the dream job are naive or stupid. Maybe both. You need experience! Everyone does. So, naturally, you should give the dream places a try as well, but be prepared to accept something less exciting first. And do not stop looking after a few attempts. do not stop until you get a job.
Work very hard. Yes, I do know people who are not very good at what they do and they are not fired anyway, but I do not think that is a position you should aim for. Getting a job is just the beginning. Don`t you dare to relax. You have to work hard all the time. You have to dedicate your personal time to your personal and professional growth. You have to fill your head with ideas and thoughts, you have to grow in every possible way. Do you remember that dream job? You can get it later, if you work for it now.
Be self-confident, but humble. Don`t let yourself become arrogant and don`t let others belittle you. Know your worth! Know what you are good at and know what you are bad it. Acknowledge the first and work on the second. Do not let anyone make you feel as if you are not worth a higher salary or a better job, if you know that you deserve it because you are good it and because you work hard. However, do not ask for it, until you are actually ready.
Some extra tips that might help you:
- Remember that this is your decision. No one is making you do it. You saw the need to change something in your life and you made a conscious decision to achieve this goal. So, there should never be a question “why am I doing it?”. When I was at school and my mom told me I had to attend English classes with a tutor every weekend or almost every day during summer holidays, I was furious and miserable. I was mad at her and my teacher, I had no idea why I had to do it. However, when I started learning French while being at University and working, I had to do my homework at six am or attend classES at eight pm after a very lo-o-ong day. What made it possible was my knowledge that I was doing it, because I was the one who wanted to learn the language. P.S. I am forever grateful to my mother for making me study English that hard and for being patient with me through the hard times;
- Create a system and follow it. Consistency is key! Accomplishing anything is much easier if you have a set of moves that you repeat on a regular basis. Spending an hour learning a foreign language every single morning is a great example. Waking up at the same time on weekdays and (!) weekends is another one. By creating a system, you avoid the necessity to make a choice every time. You simply get used to certain actions and you start doing them automatically at some point;
- Remember that it is tough to begin. Do not think that it is going to always be like that. It might be really hard at first, but it will get better and easier with time. And then, again, occasionally there will be challenging periods, which you will have to deal with. If you give up at some point — you will have to start all over again later, so keep going;
- Reward yourself. I was raised with the help of rewards. Going to the doctor? Going to the cafe next etc. I know that in a way this is unhealthy, because I still deal with difficulties by eating and I celebrate in the same way, but being kind to yourself is perfectly fine. You can come up with something special that you will do after you reach a certain point. For example, go drink a cup of coffee at your favourite cafe after an especially complicated class or buy a book you have been dreaming of after you pass the language test successfully. Do not turn this into a constant search of treats for yourself, but do find ways to inspire yourself to stick to your plan even on really bad days.
To be honest, I could go on and on, but I believe that these are the essentials. Just remember that there are no magical ways to make any significant changes in life. Your actions are the secret you have been looking for. I sincerely hope that this post will help at least some of you. I would be thrilled, if it did.
Originally published at whatbeingtwentyislike.blogspot.com on July 23, 2017.
