“How we spend our days is how we spend our lives” – Annie Dillard. My lovely roommate had this quote up on her wall in our dorm at the U of M. I used to look at that quote every day and now it comes to my mind often. There are times when we are happy and there are times when we are sad, which is all normal. However, if I am sad and not feeling good for too long, something needs to change. How do we know when exactly we’ve had enough and change needs to happen? How do we decide for how long to put up with things that aren't good enough for us?

While holding a presentation about myself in a class I remember saying that every once in a while I ask myself if I am happy so that I can reflect on things that makes me happy and keep doing them, while reducing and excluding the ones that don’t. That helped me stay on the right track and do what’s good for me. However, that question was rhetorical; I never actually stopped and wrote down the answer. It was more like “let’s think about it for a moment and continue with our lives” kind of question.

I came across this great website which gives you the chance to create a question and set a time at what it will be sent to your email. It’s an electronic journal and a great reflection tool, but I liked the most the fact that it makes you answer a specific question. I was reading a post from a girl who was using it, and thought it might be a useful thing to start doing.

The questions I picked are: “How did you spend your day?” (How are you feeling now) and “What are you thankful for today?” (What was good in this day). The sub-questions in the bracket are the things I want to focus on when answering the questions. I scheduled it to be sent to my email at 9PM every day and I made a habit of answering those questions before I go to bed. I can answer them by just hitting the reply button in the email, so I usually write answers on my phone, from my bed. There’s no need to turn on the laptop, log into the website and so on, it’s very simple.

These questions are different and special because they are not rhetorical. I really have to answer them and write down the answers. I literally write simple things I did that day – went to work, went for a coffee, exercised, and so on. It might sound stupid, but after few weeks and months, when I look at those entries I can find the pattern and see much clearly which events, people and activities made me feel certain way. I have it all written down and I can take action. I can spend more time with people that made me happy, do more of the things that made me feel good, and stop seeing the ones that made me feel sad or bad.

It even helps me with the decision making. Not all decisions are easy to make, and some we don’t want to make even when we know we should. Looking at all the worries written down for many days makes the problem much clearer to see so that you can’t ignore it anymore, and the solution often becomes obvious as well.

The first question is about keeping track of what happens during the day and how that makes me feel, but the second one I added additionally. I wanted to make myself be thankful and happy every day. I know it’s not possible to be truly happy, excited and positive every single day, but there is something good in every day and I want to have those good parts of each day written down as a proof.

No matter how many bad things happened in a day, or if I did everything I was supposed to do, or how many worries I had going through my head, there must always be something good in that day, and I should be thankful for that. Not a single day passed that I didn't have something to answer that question with. It’s even easier to answer it than the first one. Answers are usually short, just a list of things that I enjoyed that day, or people that made me smile or events that left an impression on me. Maybe I don’t have what I want this very moment but it doesn't mean I won’t have it at some point and it doesn’t mean that things aren't good the way they are and that everything is happening at its own time and pace.

The second question (I mean the answer to it) reminds me every day that there are many things to be thankful for and to stay positive and optimistic, which is crucial in order to attract more positive and good things in our lives. “You can’t have a positive life with a negative mind.”

So, what are the questions you want to answer every day?