Why I’ve been an unsuccessful self-starter so far.
Since finishing Maker’s, I have been applying for jobs and generally looking for opportunities. Job hunting is difficult. I’ve had some bad luck and I find it easy to doubt myself so sometimes I get carried away with the idea that I’ll find some other opportunity, make loads of money and I won’t need to get a job.
As unrealistic as this might seem I find these flights of fancy really help me to stay motivated, they keep me hungry and they keep me looking for the next opportunity.
I think I’ve always wanted to start my own business. First it was a shopkeeper, then it was an independent film-maker, guitar builder or any number of other possible ways of making money. The common theme amongst them is doing something for myself, having control over my day to day life and building something from scratch.
I’ve done various things to pursue those goals, taken none of them that seriously and I’ve always found them much harder to turn into reality than I anticipated and I’ve found it much easier to move on to the next thing that has interested me.
It’s put me in an awkward position where I find I’m unhappy working for somebody else because I’m dreaming of starting on my own but I’ve also been unable to get much beyond the learning stage of any potential opportunity because of my own fears and doubts.
I’ve also been too afraid or perhaps I haven’t found the right people to ask for help. Building something by yourself is incredibly hard and since you’re only accountable to yourself it is far too easy to find a reason it won’t work and to move on to the next thing.
So, why am I telling you this? Recently, I’ve had a couple of incredibly interesting opportunities come my way. Confident self starters who have had the balls and the belief in themselves to reach out and say I need help with this.
I really admire their courage and their energy and I hope that I will be able to grasp some of these opportunities, learn from them but most importantly work effectively to support someone else and make their dreams come true.