Fun things people have searched for on Andertons.co.uk — and we have no idea why!

Earlier in the year, I shared with you a little bit about how the Andertons website team view our internal site search experience.

Part 1: Helping you find your perfect guitar with EasyAsk search technology
Part 2: Search Laboratory - Improving search with data & lab rats

As a fun closer to my little series about search, I thought I’d compile a list…

These are all real searches made by people on Andertons.co.uk. All of the data we are looking at is entirely anonymous so we know next-to nothing about these individuals who used our site, other than what they asked us when they got here.

Some of these are clearly mistakes, or maybe bots, and others are far more intentional. That’s what makes this all the more... interesting! Proceed with caution: you may find some of the searches below a little blue.


  • Doctor Who
  • Guitar guitar for £23900 only £1000 off what a joke
  • Chris Sh*tlett
  • Image analysis algorithm for malaria
  • F**k Pedal
  • Usb aaudio ininininterininininterininininterfaininininterininininterininininterfaininininterininininterininininterface
  • Chappers soul? I’m suspecting you won’t have these
  • Sh*tlett
  • How to draw cartoons
  • Sexchanger
  • Why does no one like Tom?
  • exxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxpxxxxxxixxxxxxxxxxxxxpxxxxxxxxxxxxhxxoxxxxnxxxxexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • What country are they made god dam it
  • Fender Chris Sh*ttlete
  • Footsh*tch (followed by…)
  • Marshall footsh*tch
  • Ramsgate, Harbour: 1 Shag Ramsgate, West Cliff : 1 ad m Black Redstart
  • Hozelock 4 in 1 Porta Shower
  • KFC
  • Ultra S**t
  • Show me some sh*t between 100 and 200 quid
  • The children and the other hand is not the same thing over and over again and I don’t have a nice person but the fact is the gym
  • This life is crashing you down untill you suffer enough For decades and decades the mother bird puked in your mouth
  • How u doin gorgeous?
  • Yamash*t P45
  • Henry vacuum cleaner
  • Get stupid drum music
  • Jesus
  • Buttsex
  • Run run rudolph rip lemmy quite a cooll rock, and like it, rip lemmy i wont do it, i just keep it harm, like zztop, i dont like quasi what is money making
  • Fender Chris Tele (phew…)
  • Lee Anderton is a knob
  • F#!*ING CHAPMAN

And finally… One poor soul, desperately confused about the services Andertons provide, apparently also having a terrible search relaxation experience:

Are you now thinking about searching for something terrible or offensive on Andertons.co.uk? For once, we don’t want to know what you’re thinking, and please don’t hit “go”.


Andertons Music Co. Is a UK based, rock ’n’ roll music instrument retailer which has served the community for over 50 years. The brand is known by musicians worldwide, with videos by Chappers & The Captain reaching half a million YouTube subscribers.

About the Author
Andrew Chart heads up the E-Commerce technical team at Andertons. He never searches for stupid stuff on other peoples' websites. Never.

@AndrewChart