Why we ignore someone we like

Zenith Celestial
2 min readAug 31, 2023

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Ignoring someone you like can be a complex behavior influenced by various psychological, emotional, and situational factors. Here are a few reasons why people might sometimes choose to ignore someone they have feelings for:

Fear of Rejection: One common reason is the fear of being rejected. Ignoring someone might be a defense mechanism to avoid the potential pain of rejection. By keeping a distance, people can shield themselves from the vulnerability that comes with expressing their feelings.

Uncertainty: When someone likes another person but is unsure about the other person’s feelings, they might resort to ignoring as a way to gauge the other person’s interest. They might believe that if the other person reaches out, it’s a sign of mutual interest.

Playing Hard to Get: Some individuals believe that ignoring someone can make them appear more attractive and desirable. This “hard to get” strategy is based on the idea that scarcity increases perceived value.

Emotional Self-Preservation: Strong emotions can be overwhelming. Ignoring someone can provide a brief respite from the intensity of these emotions. It allows individuals to collect their thoughts and regain a sense of emotional equilibrium.

Testing the Other Person: People might ignore someone they like to see if the other person is genuinely interested. They might want to observe whether the other person makes an effort to reconnect, which could indicate their level of interest.

External Circumstances: Life circumstances, stressors, or personal challenges can influence someone’s behavior. Ignoring someone might not necessarily be about the person they like but could be a result of their own life situation.

Social Norms and Dating Games: Unfortunately, there are times when societal norms or dating “rules” suggest that ignoring or waiting to reply can be part of the dating process. These norms can influence behavior even when individuals genuinely like someone.

Communication Styles: Different people have different communication styles. Some may naturally be more prone to periods of silence or space, even if they like someone. This can be misinterpreted as intentional ignoring.

Conflict Avoidance: If someone feels that their feelings are becoming too intense, they might pull away to avoid potential conflicts or disagreements that can arise in relationships.

Overthinking and Anxiety: Overthinking situations and potential outcomes can lead someone to believe that ignoring is the best course of action. Anxiety and worry can contribute to this behavior.

It’s important to note that ignoring someone you like is not always a healthy or effective approach. Open and honest communication is generally a better way to navigate relationships. Misunderstandings can arise from ignoring, leading to unnecessary emotional distress for both parties involved. If you’re in this situation, it’s worth considering whether communication might be a more constructive approach to address your feelings and concerns.

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Zenith Celestial
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While I may not seek out large social gatherings or be the center of attention, I thrive in the virtual spaces that the internet offers