P. S. This Song is For You

February 23, 2017

Humming. Strumming. Playing.

Then tears began flowing.

There are days when I am perfectly fine hearing the songs. But there are days when the songs pierce my broken heart. The lines, they just stab me like a poisoned dagger. It brings me to a very slow death.

“Then you came to me, and my loneliness left me...”

This song proved that at some point in our lives, we needed each other. You were what I needed and I was what you needed. We just met, and it brought this certain feeling of feeling better since we found each other. We were no Nostradamus to tell how things would turn out months after. Of how better would turn to worse. Of how it would lead us to be tied to a more painful heartache and heartbreak.

“We had the right love at the wrong time...”

F*ck that wrong timing. It has always been wrong timing. When we met, we were so immature. You didn’t want commitment. End of story.

“Just take my heart when you go, I don’t have a need for it anymore.”

For years, I believed in this song. I took your heart. I believe it is still with me. I still have it. Perhaps, things didn’t work with your other pasts, cause I have your innocent heart that knew how to love but was too coward to take the risk.

“Our roads are gonna cross again it doesn’t really matter when.”

Ya, that same song… And when it finally did, it still mattered when. Cause then again, it was at the wrong time. It just made it easier to forgive because maturity stepped in. We were no longer the two high school kids who upset each other with petty things.

These songs turned my mind berserk when I started entertaining the idea of writing about them. Suddenly, thoughts overflowed. Suddenly, memories seemed being rewinded from our VHS player. Suddenly, I died a tragic death again.

Out of the many songs you’ve said reminds you of me, these three hurt the most...

I carry them all in my heavy heart as they simply refused to disappear on the airwaves.

Then I sing along.