Think up specific ways of helping. “Do you need me to pick up your kids Tuesday night?” “You can borrow Dave’s car for as long as you need it to drive to the hospital and back.” “I actually know a doctor who treats this exact condition and takes insurance.” “You like gin, right? Here’s a case of Tanqueray.” Shit like that. The less you force people in need to think, the better. This is not optimal brainstorming time for them.