I can’t help you with the “not feeling guilty” part (can anyone? Parenting is a full time job in guilt!) BUT depending on how old your kid is, you can get the kid used to the idea that you might not paying for it completely. When they’re old enough, they can get a job to start saving for college, and you can “encourage” research in scholarships early on (starting sophomore year of high school, even). My husband has 1 undergrad degree (double major), 2 masters, and a PhD, all from well regarded private universities, and has never had to pay tuition because of MERIT based scholarships (not income based). It’s possible to get out of undergrad without loans, it just takes some planning and some extra work (even working part time while in school).