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The author’s dryer.

The other day, I learned I am not wearing enough stripes around my baby. I should be donning them as often as possible. In fact, if I am not constantly surrounding my child with bold colored, contrasting stripes I “might as well be blindfolding him.”

This was actual advice by an actual doctor on the actual internet.

And, despite what I consider a relatively level head, it left me near tears, contemplating the tragic lack of stripes in my life.

As a new parent, the are no shortage of places to turn for advice, or instructions, or advice that feels like instructions. From books to parenting experts to the internet, everyone has something to say about the best way to care for my baby. …

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I can’t count how many times since I had my son that I’ve been warned how quickly he will grow up and instructed to enjoy every single minute of his young life.

It’s been written in cards by distant relatives, posted on my Facebook wall by older colleagues and spoken to me in elevators by perfect strangers while they coo over my sleeping baby.

I understand these well-intentioned aphorisms are just part of “what you say” to a new parent. And, like all aphorisms, I’m certain there is truth in these warnings.

But, dear person who misses your own child while staring sweetly at mine, although I know you mean so well when you say it, let me tell you just how much I hate hearing it. …

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I approached pregnancy and impending motherhood like I approach most things in my life. With lists. Lots and lots of lists.

It has taken me 34 years to finally admit I am more than a little bit “type A”. I like to think of myself as a free-spirit, go-with-the-flow kinda gal. And, in many ways, I am. But, in so many more ways, I am a perfectionist, a worrier, a planner.

I had it all worked out. I packed my schedule with projects during my second and early third trimesters. …

Tick tock. Do you hear that? It’s the sound of the hours speeding forward to the birth of your baby. Now that you’re pregnant, it’s important to do everything just right.

If you feel like you haven’t gotten enough advice from books, magazines, family, co-workers and that random guy on the street who doesn’t even have kids, never fear! The internet is chock full of useful information to make sure you don’t miss one little thing.

To make it even easier, I’ve aggregated this helpful (and not at all overwhelming) guide to pregnancy.

Things-you-simply-must-do-if-you-want-to-have-the-best-pregnancy- easiest-labor-strongest-post-baby-relationship-and-give-birth-to-the healthiest-smartest-baby-ever-born.

Research the best breast pump, crib, diapers, baby monitor, brain-stimulating mobile, diaper bag, pacifiers, non-toxic teething toys…and, and, and…

Make sure you find the cutest, most well made, safest option that is optimal for your comfort and your babies long term development. …


Andrea Karin Nelson

Writer : Editor: Actor: Teaching Artist: ASL Interpreter : Mother : Person (in no particular order)

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