RSGFFL BFF Week 8: Back From Personal Bye Week Blues
Let’s just get this out the way:
Yes, the write-up took it’s own Bye Week last week. This is my way of saying I was hungover on alcohol and sadness on Friday then was unable to write Saturday because I had to go OTP to fix my car and they don’t have internet there. (Do I get to make OTP jabs after only living ITP for a month?!)
Hello and welcome to Week 9 where I am trying to decide whether to use this ATLUTD Playoff money burning a hole in my pocket to buy a new iPhone X or bet it all on the Vikings to win the Super Bowl.
Recap Time!
South Raleigh Scorpions (90.9) vs God Hates Jags (121.6)
No one on either team broke 20 points but Archan saved his underage self from taking a shot of Fireball led by Mohammad Sanu and the Chiefs Defense. Amari Cooper came back down to earth and put up modest numbers for his modest season. With Ajayi being newly traded to the Eagles, it will be a risky play for Archan to start him this week as he will likely see zero touches as he learns the offensive scheme.
Greg posted the 2nd lowest score of the week. The Steelers beat the Lions (woo! Skol Vikes!) but their defense was nothing special and couldn’t even gain points from sacks. Why he continues to start Gillislee is a mystery. Gillislee has averaged 3.68 points since Week 2. There is a reason I dropped him, Greg!
Greg remains in last place while Archan continues his win streak at three games to be 3–5 and jumping over me to be 10th (never mind that I have scored almost 200 more points than him this season…).
AD Ain’t No Saint (155.4) vs Steel City Mafia (147.2)
Poor Feely is looking at his bench wondering what could have been. Starting Golden Tate over Garcon would have been enough to win it. Travis Kelce had himself another day with over 100 receiving yards for the third time this season. What do the the Bills offense and Feely’s team have in common? Both are true playoff contenders thanks to LeSean McCoy. Feely is on a two game loss streak making his hold on 2nd place shaky. He looks to stand his ground with a match-up vs the Noffsinger-Reeds this week.
The Colts are stinky but Jack Doyle had 12 receptions for 121 yards and a TD helping him earn just over 30 points for Alex. His second highest scorer, with 22.8, Jamison Crowder led all players in targets and receptions during Week 8, regaining fantasy relevance in dramatic fashion. It’s hard to envision both of them remaining that involved on a consistent basis but a win is a win for Alex who is clawing his way out The Basement. (side note: LOL somehow the Dolphins D gave us 40 points and still earned more points than Greg’s Steeler D)
The win puts Alex at 3–5. He has a tough match-up vs Paul this week. If Alex can win it it could put him just outside The Bubble and make for great drama heading into the end of the season.
OTP White Flight (79.3) vs Vick In A Box (103)
An ugly game for both Bart and Paul. Both hit among their season lows with no player breaking 20 for either. I guess no one on either team (unless your name was Matt) got the memo there was football to be played.
For Bart, Taylor Gabriel hadn’t done much for the Falcons all year and he did even less than normal with less than 1 point this week. Matt Ryan threw two TDs but also had two fumbles in a game where I had to flip the channel because that rain was basically coming through my TV. No one else on his team logged a TD holding him to sub 80 points this week. Bart will try to move back towards .500 as he faces me and my Kittens this week.
Paul escapes his Bye Week Blues unscathed. Seriously, his entire bench was on Bye. The Lions scored all 15 of their points from Matt Prater kicks scoring him 18 points in Fantasy and making him the lead scorer for Paul. His second highest scorer, Alshon, salvaged his only two catches by making them count for a TD and a 2PC. Things look up for Paul as he gets Todd Gurley and Evan Engram back this week. He staying in Top 4 at #3 keeping the pressure on Feely to need to win. Paul squares off against Alex this week in a match-up where projections currently have them less than one point apart.
Kitten Wittens (114.4) vs Ice Holes (188.6)
I wish I had remembered to capture the projections on Thursday. Remember when Ice and I had the exact same projections at 134? Then before games started for us Sunday I was actually projected to win. UGHHHH. Melvin Gordon was, once again, my top scorer with just over 20 points. I can’t seem to figure out my TE/Flex spots because whomever I bench between Funchess/Witten/Rudolph will end up scoring more than the starter. Except… nothing matters because I certainly wasn’t going to score more than 188 points this *upside down smiley emoji*. I face Bart this week with a RB duo of Hyde and Drake… who play for the 49ers and Dolphins, respectively (or not respectively because LOL those teams). Here’s hoping I don’t get smashed 100–0
Ice had three players: Russell, Hopkins, and Juju Smith- Schuster, break 30 points (so stupid). Who could have predicted Russell Wilson would go and get 4 TDs?! Prior to this season, Wilson had thrown for at least 300 yards in a game only eight times in four seasons. This year he has posted three games of that caliber and has proved to be a slam-dunk draft pick. Please realize Zeke and AB haven’t even been mentioned. Ice’s team is disgusting on paper and it makes me feel disgusting to admit it. Zeke is FOR SURE now out with his 6 game suspension so of course that ruling comes out after I play Ice. He remains at #1 facing Greg this week… and will likely remain #1 after this week. BOOOO.
Dak Attack (96.4) vs My Johnson Went Bay Bay (157.4)
Booooo Coogler. Now we have to suffer through more of his bad trolling. He earned this week’s second highest score. It all started Thursday when the Ravens’ Defense had their way with the Dolphins. 2 pick-6s, 2 INTs, and 0 points allowed meant they came close to scoring 30 points. Lamar Miller and my boy, Jerrick McKinnon, earned him almost 50 from the RB spots. Paul Richardson had his breakout week with the Seahawks but jury is still out on if he can continue to produce those numbers.
It did not help the Noffsinger-Reeds that Zach Miller went out with a major knee injury early in his game; and, while it was admirable to keep faith in Mike Wallace, it might be time to bench him. Both earned 0 points. The Zeke suspension rules in Dak Attack’s favor as it can probably be expected we will see a little more ground game from Dak as well as opportunities for him to run the ball in the end zone himself. They also made the pick-up of Alfred Morris early on waiting for this ruling. If the Cowboys can prosper, Dak Attack can prosper. They look to hand Feely his 3rd loss in a row this week and try and stay relevant in the home stretch.
The Big Gronkowski (141.7) vs Football Penguin (94.8)
Rough showing for the Penguin this week. Only two TDs with one being thrown by Philip Rivers and the other being thrown in by Le’Veon Bell. Highest scoring player was Chris Thompson with only 15.8 points. The rest of her team pooped the bed. CMC (that’s the #hip way of say Christian McCaffrey) was held to 10 points. Tyreek Hill had his worst game of the season, thus far. Donte Moncrief went without a single target on 57 snaps in Week 8. Oof.
Big win for Rutherford. He knocks Colette out of Top 4 for the first time this season and takes her place. He also had a player score 0 points as DeVante Parker stayed on the sideline due to an ankle injury. Shout-out to my boy Adam Thielen who was Rutherford’s second highest score behind the Eagles D. Though he’s back in Top 4, looking into his current roster, Rutherford is going to need his team to stay healthy as bye weeks end and our playoff race tightens up.
Rutherford faces Archan and I hope TBG wins so Archan stops bragging in the group chat seeing as I have scored almost 200 more points than him this season!!! (not letting this go)
Games to Watch!
Fireball Watch Bowl — Week 7 Edition: Ice Holes (8–0) vs South Raleigh Scorpions (1–7)
So do we think Ice wins by 50 or 100? Ugh. I want Ice to lose as bad as anyone else, but I don’t think this is the week. This would be an upset of epic proportions.
Fight for Top 4 4–4 Bowl: My Johnson Went Bay Bay (4–4) vs Football Penguin (4–4)
Craig has been shit talking Colette all season saying he was going to take her spot in Top 4. Now, neither are currently in Top 4 but Colette and Coogler are 5th and 6th. Less than a TD worth of points separates them in the point differential on standings. Whoever wins this game will stay on the heels of Rutherford, or barring a complete collapse of him vs Archan, could jump back into Top 4. Projections give Colette the edge by just under a touchdown. Coogler has starting RB Jerrick McKinnon on Bye but may be OK with Ty Montgomery replacing him. Colette will be benching both Rapelisberger and Le’Veon as they are on Bye as, well.
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Week 9 begins tonight with the Bills headed to the Meadowlands to face the Jets. 8:25PM on the NFL Network. Good luck to all, especially the Browns who will probably, somehow find a way to lose on their Bye Week!