Adopt a new perspective

Photo by Lindsay Henwood on Unsplash

I’ve got to say, I thought she was a wee bit crazy, but my physiotherapist was vibrating with excitement.

She’d just told me that she’d made a new friend (she was new to the city) who wanted to run stairs with her.

She was over the moon about it.

Over the moon about running stairs.

Now, I don’t know about you, but running stairs isn’t my jam.

Not when I played competitive volleyball and had to do it as part of the training, and not now, when I get to choose the workout I want to do.

But for her…


Strengthening Relationships, Eliminating He Said, She Said talk.

Photo by sergio souza on Unsplash

Two guys sit together on a couch watching the game.

“Beer?”

“Cheers.”

Thirty-seven minutes pass by, the silence is broken only by the sound of crunching potato chips and the announcer’s play by play.

“What a move!”

“Ummpt.”

And if you asked those guys about their day, they would both tell you they had the best time.

If two women sit side by side for that long, without saying anything, there’s a big problem!

While there are most certainly individual differences and abilities in each gender, the average guy’s and gal’s brains are wired differently and that causes communication issues.


Photo by Kristine Weilert on Unsplash

Racing the clock on New Year’s Day, praying we would make it on time, wasn’t the way I’d planned to start the New Year or a brand-new decade.

Thankfully, we did get a few hours to talk with my father-in-law before he died, but the death of this man, who always seemed so full of life, sent me into a tailspin.

As I sat in his little mobile home, surrounded by the collection of knickknacks and pictures acquired over 88 years, I wondered what is it all for?

What is the meaning of life?

He’d led a quiet life in…


Group of four friends
Group of four friends
Photo by Felix Rostig on Unsplash

Sometimes you click with people and sometimes you don’t. Would it surprise you to know there’s actually a formula to it? And even better, you can use that formula to create better relationships.

Familiarity+Intimacy+Liking = A Deeper Connection

It’s a simple formula. Here’s how it works….

Let’s say you’re an enthusiast of the Japanese art of Hikaru Dorodango, which is hand-moulding little balls of mud into perfect spheres, then polishing them to perfection. (They’re beautiful!) It’s an uncommon art, at least in Western society, that you’ve been practising for years.

While you’re at a networking event, you have been instructed to tell the people in…


Charismatic woman
Charismatic woman
A charismatic woman — Photo by Freshh Connection on Unsplash

When I worked at Country Music Television, I got to see and meet quite a few stars who came into our Canadian studio for interviews. It was cool for sure, but I’ve never really been the fan girl type or a starstruck kind of person. I really just saw them as everyday people who had a different job than I did. Until Tom Jackson came into the studio.

I knew very little about him. I’d never watched North of 60, hadn’t seen any of his films and I didn’t know his music, but when he walked into the room, I…


Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

I was trying to figure out how to solve yet another issue with the store’s schedule. It was the bane of my existence when I was a retail manager. I walked into the staff room, mentally shuffling shifts around in order to cover the gaps.

“Who pissed in your Corn Flakes this morning?”

I startled. I’d been concentrating so hard, I didn’t notice one of my employees leaning against the counter, sipping her coffee before her shift started.

“What?”

“You look angry,” she said.

“Oh! No, this is my thinking face, not my angry face.”

She cocked an eyebrow, took…


Photo by Bruno Aguirre on Unsplash

“Put your hands out, palms up. Now move them back and forth.”

I moved my arms in locomotive style, without the chugga chugga choo choo.

“Feel the energy in that?”

I nodded.

“Now close one palm.”

As soon as I did, the rhythm was thrown off.

“In order to have balanced energy, you have to be able to give and take.”

My coach had this way of delivering these kinds of messages in a gentle way. We’d been discussing the burnout I’d hit when my first marriage ended. And by burnout, I really mean crash and burn. …


Photo by Product School on Unsplash

I watched as people turned their backs to the man as he approached.

He’d been working the room for a while, his clipboard in hand. Instead of introducing himself, he immediately asked for an email to add to his newsletter list. Everything about him was aggressive and everyone in the room noticed it.

No one wanted to talk to him.

Since it was a room of marketing professionals, I actually wondered if he was a plant to show how you shouldn’t network. But no. …


Photo by Moose Photos from Pexels

“How are you doing?”

“I heard you recently got married?”

Awkward silence.

“Um…where did you go on your honeymoon?”

“We didn’t have one.”

If you’ve been in this position, you know how difficult it can be to navigate and, forever after, it can leave you with a little niggling fear about experiencing The Awkward Silence again.

I wish I knew then what I know now. It would have made that particular moment in time a lot easier to deal with and to understand. Making small talk can be tough for some people and others don’t see the point in it…


Master the Art of Asking

Most people worry that asking for a favour will make the other person think poorly of them. In fact, the opposite is true.

Asking for a small favour will actually help you create deeper connections and people will like you more for it. It was one of the things that Amanda Palmer learned very early in her career and shares in her TedTalk, The Art of Asking.

It was mastering the art of asking that brought her closer to the people and helped gain success in an unconventional way. While touring the world in the early stages of her career…

Andrea Jones

Communication Specialist — because people don’t come with users manuals. Get “The Quick Guide to Speed Reading People” at https://www.iamandreajones.com/.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store