The Freedom Call: Why It’s OK To Not Give A Shit
Not giving a shit is a tall task for someone who is prone to over-caring.
But my ability to care about everything is dialing back as I come to realize that there are some things I am no longer capable of caring about.
Case in point, cleaning up other people’s messes.
I used to crave fixing things for people. I loved feeling useful and needed, because it made me feel important and loved.
But that kinda stuff has lost it’s spark. The damaged little girl who directed those types of scenes doesn’t run the show anymore. I am now a free agent.
People still want me to clean up their messes though. And while the people pleaser in me wants to jump up and get shit done, my soul says, “slow your damn roll girl.”
Because I’ve realized that much of the time, when I think I’m helping, I’m actually enabling.
I’m used to cleaning up messes for people who won’t take ownership: they won’t admit they had created the mess to begin with. And in helping them, I assist in the cultivation of supreme ego-maniacs.
I basically made a career out of enabling, and sadly, I’ve still got my toes dipped in enabling waters. The difference being that present day me has a healthy level of self-love, and doesn’t take any shit. This entails religiously giving the heads up, “Hey. This ain’t my issue. This is on you,” so as to continuously set the bar for what I won’t deal with.
But I’ve realized that the longer I stay in this kind of scene, the longer I’m saying, “Hey, it’s OK to try to blame me. It’s OK to undervalue me.”
It ain’t working for me anymore, and I’m over it.
Here’s the kicker: I was never very good at cleaning up other people’s messes. And you know why? Because I just didn’t give a shit.
But for years I felt like it was all I was capable of doing, or all that was available to me. The title of “shit-wrangler” was my go-to gig for so long. I must have had the words “use me” branded on my head, in invisible ink, that only assholes could see. Because those were the types of employers I kept getting.
(A truth time out is needed here: I was an asshole too. You get what you put out, and I was putting out bad vibes.)
So the same scenario kept playing out over and over, followed by me complaining about my circumstances. Thankfully, I have now graduated to the point of knowing and believing that it’s on me to make things better.
I now know without a fibre of doubt that I don’t have to work so hard at forcing myself to care about stuff that just ain’t my thing.
What is my thing? Writing. It’s all I ever want to do. It’s what I’m good at. So it’s time to take my toes out of the “I need to deal with shit” waters. Because I’ve long-over-stayed my welcome doing other people’s ugh-work, and being undervalued. I’ve tried it for years, and it has never worked out for me. All it did was help me avoid the truth, which is:
I am meant for more than sorting through other people’s shit piles.
What I can get behind? Danielle LaPorte for forcing me to admit that. See you can think positive, and look for the good in every situation. You can tell yourself how great you have it and be grateful. That’s good stuff that changes lives. Changed mine 100%.
But then there is the undeniably exquisite feeling you get when you just say: “This fucking sucks! I’m ready for something better!”
That is the freedom call. And this is mine.
This is me opening my arms wide, telling the world that I’m ready for greatness. I’m ready for exceptional. I’m ready for big, high-quality freedom.
I’m ready to move into my greater good. And I know it’s not at the bottom of someone else’s stack of cast-off tasks.
This is me releasing what no longer serves me, and letting the whole damn world know it. Because there is power and freedom in speaking the truth.
Shout out to anyone else who is acknowledging the need for something greater. And to all who came before me, who had the courage to admit that they just didn’t give a shit anymore. I salute you!
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Andrea Scoretz is a soul-centric freelance writer, storyteller, and Huffington Post blogger from Vancouver Island, Canada. Learn more about her via www.mustlovecrows.com