Accepting My Not-So-Perfect Self

The journey to fall in love with yourself is pretty similar to falling in love with someone else. There’s one major difference, though. You can’t get a divorce or break it off. You’re kind of just stuck with you. The only thing to do is accept “you for you”… or change.

Today was date #2 with myself. On date # 1, I discovered The Spark of Affection. But today’s date was quite honestly the opposite.

Today, I realized that it’s the great things about us that help us fall in love, but it’s accepting or changing those “not-so-great” things about us that make love last.

This is true with all of our relationships. It’s true with ourselves, our romances with others, our friendships and our familyships.

People are not perfect. We all know that. In fact, I wish I could highlight and DELETE the word Perfect, CTRL FIND it everywhere it exists in the world, BACKSPACE that shit — and hit SAVE AS.

We can strive to be the best versions of ourselves, but perfect is off-putting. Perfect is a set up for disappointment. It’s the enemy of good. How do we accept the not-so-perfect in ourselves and in others so we can love us when we need love the most and love others when they need it the most?

I got to my yoga class two minutes before it started. I sat down on the mat, took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Thoughts started racing. To-do lists filled the air. I started mentally picking fights with my mind, begging my brain to put the “freeze” in “freeze dance”. And then something happened.

I gave up.

I cold-heartedly quit my fight to find that oh-so-still mindset yogis strive to discover. I just let go. And for the rest of the class, I stopped judging myself.

Not everyone is going to love us. We are going to fuck up. Say the wrong thing sometimes. Do the wrong things other times. Hurt friends. Upset family members. And more. Harsh right? But it’s reality.

And after we do each of these things, we judge ourselves on the inside — hard. And we judge those who commit these “wrongdoings” on the outside—harder.

But this judgment and pressure is getting in the way of forgiving, forgetting and focusing on what we can control: actions, apologies and acceptance.

I am still on that journey to accept my “not so great” and learn how to give up—more often. But I’ve decided my newfound ability to focus on giving up the guilt factor and moving forward with each situation is not a good thing. It’s one of the best qualities I could have.

Until Date # 3.

Andrea

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