I almost never post selfies online, but I’ll occasionally take them and keep them on my phone. In my life, selfies exist in two forms: 1) sheer vanity and 2) for remembering a moment, even if it’s not a good one.

Because I think I have such a subconscious abhorrence toward the boastful and self-centered, many of the vain selfies I take are as natural and documentary-like as possible, so as to diminish the appearance of vanity. What’s ironic is that in my attempt to make a selfie appear more genuine, I’m perhaps being more disingenuous by pretending I’m not actually a vain creature in those moments. (Because I am!)

The photo on the left was taken during a wedding.

The photo on the right represents the other form of selfie-ing in my life: time-capsuling a moment.

That photo was taken during a specific time in which I was depressed, ashamed, lonely, guilty, saddened, and upset. I wasn’t crying only because I was simultaneously feeling apathy and numbness.

For me, it’s not an easy picture to look at, because through this one photograph, I can vividly recall those feelings of hurt. However, it’s an important picture for me. It reminds me that sometimes life sucks and that’s okay; it reminds me that I’m not superhuman, and that I’m instead very human; and it reminds me that those wounds that once haunted me are being healed today.