What Now

Never did I think I would be going backwards in life. How can a 23 year old be going backwards? Let’s say I reached my quarter life crisis phase and I realized I am no where I should have been and also where I never thought I would be. Had I did things “correctly” I would have most of my life goals accomplished. If I didn’t go soul searching would I ever realize what I needed to do? Questions. So many questions. On a blank canvas at 16 I knew i enjoyed music and modeling. No part of me wanted to get into more schooling. I proceeded with modeling. Here I am 5 years in and I love it. I feel empty. I want to add more. I want to go to school and have normal friends and have a regular part time job and know what it’s like to be a regular 23 year old. Writing this right now is making me feel much better. That is the thing, I’m past the temporary bliss “phase” I want longevity. My mind feels I skipped steps and now I don’t know what direction I’m moving. I could be going in circles for what I know. Where am I supposed to be right now. With who. What now.

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