Design Shouldn’t Be a Fight: Recognizing Gaslighting and Taking Your Seat at the Table
After reading Sara Wachter-Boettcher’s article “Hey designers, they’re gaslighting you” I was inspired to write my own take on it based on my experiences in the field, and share how I’ve overcome the same issue.
Designers, are you in the same boat as I was, constantly trying to prove your worth? Every quarter you did your best to create OKRs, align with the business strategy just to be told that design is too expensive, the business has no insight into what is actually happening here and it feels like a never ending battle to secure a seat at the decision-making table?
You’re not alone.
Many designers experience a phenomenon known as gaslighting, where companies manipulate them into questioning their abilities and worth.
It happened to me, and I’m sure it has happened to you. And when it does, we’re not always fully aware that it’s happening as we are caught up in this race of doing more and more, becoming almost obsessed with numbers, strategy planning, roadmapping and OKRs to the point that design truly comes last.
Let’s explore how design has a strategic impact and build the confidence to advocate for your ideas and expertise.
Unmasking the Gaslighting
If we’re anything, it’s empathetic and caring beings. We care about the quality of designs we produce, and we care deeply about our users and how our expertise is perceived by others. Whether we want to admit that, or not.
Designers are often times so isolated from the business process, that it’s extremely hard to break down the walls, especially if you’re a designer of one, or a small team. Or work under leadership that simply doesn’t see any value in you or your work.
What even is gaslighting?
gas·light·ing ˈgas-ˌlī-tiŋ
Psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.
Rings a bell? Good!
The ways I’ve experienced gaslighting in my years of working at various companies, just to name a few:
- Unrealistic deadlines and workloads
- Showing zero consideration for the design process
- Others taking credit for designer’s work
- Vague feedback loops
- Positioning design as a cost center
- Diminishing expertise and shifting blame
- Isolating design from decision-making
And the list could go on. Does that ultimately mean that design is doomed to never be appreciated, and you as a designer, will always receive the short end of the stick? Absolutely not. But it certainly happens more often than we’d like to admit, and more often than companies would like to see.
Gaslighting makes you feel all sorts of ways, as a designer:
- Undervalued
- Insecure
- Disrespected
- Frustrated
- Isolated
- Unheard
It took me years to realize that my imposter syndrome was increasingly getting bigger, the less important I was to the business side of things, as a designer. It made me question whether I really posses the skills I thought I did, if I was nearly as good as others said I was, and asked myself if the frustration I feel, is worth it.
It’s hard to break out of this limbo. Trust me, I know. But now that we know how to identify gaslighting and whether it’s happening to you or not, let me share a few things that I managed to incorporate in my day-to-day life as a designer, to minimize the impact it has on me, and to get rid of the vagueness people would always claim design is.
Own Your Seat at the Table
Perhaps you’re like me, and don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, you’re new at the company, don’t know anyone, but right from the start it’s obvious that design lives in its own bubble where no one really values it or sees value in it.
Suddenly it’s up to you to prove to the company there’s value in having UI/UX in the company.
Like I said before — it really shouldn’t be like that. It shouldn’t be on us, to prove to the business that design drives business. There’s something fundamentally wrong with the business if this is the type of conversations you’re having, and whether we want to admit it or not, it’s the truth.
In a lot of cases, I’ve seen design being the first one on the chopping block. Suddenly everyone was a design expert, everyone saw our work as trivial, and in the end we, the designers, were blamed for never showing worth of our work. Or what impact our work has on business.
This can be frustrating — especially if you’re dealing with people who are simply unwilling to listen, understand and support.
But there’s ways to deal with this. And it starts with building your own confidence, being confident in the work you do and your expertise. After all, you’re there for a reason: don’t let them gaslight you into believing that “You’re just pushing some pixels around”, “You’re not really doing much day-to-day”, “Design is this enigma and nobody knows how you’re contributing to business”.
Or worse yet, “You take up too much space. Time. Resources and money”.
You don’t.
Design, somewhere along the way, became the scapegoat for a lot of things but one thing that will always be true is, that there is no good user-facing product on this market, without proper designers and researchers.
One advice I’ve gotten from a co-worker when I became the team lead of our product design team was, to own the role. Own the space I take up, my team takes up and the importance of having us as part of the business.
Let’s look at some of the things you can do, as a designer:
- Recognize gaslighting and document everything, especially cases where your design expertise is downplayed or decisions are made without your input.
- Build your case and communicate effectively by gathering data, metrics and developing communication skills to frame your design decisions and agreements effectively.
- Build allies and set boundaries, by identifying individuals in other departments (marketing, product management, requirements, development) who might benefit from a stronger design presence. Don’t take on the blame — if unrealistic expectations or scope creep threaten the project, document them clearly and communicate the potential ricks.
- Bring everyone to the same page by introducing processes that help shed light on design and give it the same importance as all the other tasks in the chain of events. Shouldn’t be your job but ultimately, it helps tremendously in the long run if the process of collaboration is clear, concise and everyone knows your roadmap. I am also a big fan of workshops, especially for non-tech stakeholders.
- Learn to say no, by pushing back on unreasonable demands.
- Focus on your own growth, keep developing your design skills. Go to that conference, attend that workshop, buy that book!
- Document your achievements and your teams’ achievements, and introduce a newsletter for everyone in the company. Let your work shine and speak for itself.
- Advocate for design leadership opportunities by proposing design audits to demonstrate the value of design, lead cross-functional initiatives or teams if you can, mentor your designers and promote the importance of design within the organization.
- Know when to walk away, if the gaslighting persists and the company culture remains hostile towards you and design, explore opportunities elsewhere. Your skill deserves a place where it’s valued.
More than anything, regardless if you’re a junior, mid, senior, lead or principal designer (and everything in-between!), you deserve that seat at the decision making table. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Conclusion
I’ve been in this industry for 16 years now; 8 years as a freelancer and 8 years working at various companies. So it’s fair to say that I had my fair share of challenges along the way, when it comes to discussing design and its value in big and small companies alike.
Especially in my role as a team lead, that was constantly a hot topic; Why do we need designers? Why don’t we just use AI? We already have a Design System, so why do we still need designers? Why do you need this long to develop a Design System? Can’t you just change the colors on existing mockups and submit the designs? Why do we need a special tool to do product design, can’t you use something else?
With all the OKRs in the world, Figma metrics, data and more, it was impossible to shed light to the importance of design. Yet, I persevered because I saw value in it. I knew that our products were better off because of my team and I, and I knew that we had data to support that. And most of all, happy customers who could vouch for that.
Design is not a cost center, it’s a strategic advantage.
By recognizing gaslighting tactics and focusing on your strategic impact, you can confidently take your rightful place at the table. Remember, your design skills are valuable, and it’s time to stop fighting for a seat and start shaping the conversation.
And if there’s no conversation to be had, then it’s time to walk away. There’s always a spot out there, that will value the knowledge, drive and passion you bring to the table, as a designer.