Your post was so hard to read..I took it one paragraph or sentence at a time. I would be considered lucky as I am a white male. I am beyond what words to offer for what yourself and millions of others have endured and continue to endure.I am so sorry to read of what you go through. I cannot possibly understand your struggles but my heart breaks reading of them and if it means anything at all, I do what I can to learn and then to pass those teachings on regarding the true history of North America and the continuing persecution of all minorities and esp black and native women. In Canada we may get an inquiry into the missing and murdered indigenous women http://www.cbc.ca/news/aboriginal/breaking-one-of-canada-s-best-kept-secrets-mmiw-1.3048352. Please Ms. Matti, please know that there are many many people from all backgrounds/cultures/ etc. working towards ending this. We just tossed our version of GWB and elected, hopefully, a kinder government. I was told by a black woman here in Canada that in the US at least they are in your face about being racist, while here in Canada it’s hidden. I don’t know which is worse. I so hope the very best for yourself, your child, your husband, your family and the entire black community that someday the truth will be upon us and you are able to walk free and expose your incredible strength and passion and be applauded for it and not feared. Your community has shown such incredible and great patience and contains in vast immeasurable quantity the artistry, knowledge, genius and universal love that we all of us need if we are ever going to continue let alone move forward. You have accepted us, at the very least we should accept you, even writing that makes me sad and angry, as we are one species that has been around for a nanosecond in the great time of the universe. The most powerful sound that rings outward from us is one of music and laughter but unless we fix this our voice divided will not be strong enough to be heard by the universe and we will have failed. That must not happen.Thank you for sharing your experiences, you give hope and yes you damn well deserve better.