Why do smart people fall into abusive relationships?
- How do intelligent, functional people get sucked into abusive relationships?
- Surely, anyone with an ounce of intelligence would see the signs early and get out?
- Are victims of abuse both naive and to blame for the mess they find themselves in? Or are they the victims of a calculated and dastardly plan?
Having suffered in an abusive marriage for 8 years, I believe there are two common routes for falling into abuse:
- Eyes Wide Open
- Deceived; hook, line and sinker
My route in was Eyes Wide Open. From early on, I could see there were problems. My partner/girlfriend was a broken women with probable, mental health issues; she had bizarre mood swings, uncontrollable rage, an all-consuming need to be in control and a fundamental need to be utterly adored without question.
Unfortunately, as a young man in his early 20s, eager to please, caring, attentive and with no sense of personal boundaries or self awareness, I was a textbook victim. But let’s be clear, there was no pretense from her: her behaviour didn’t change during our 8-year relationship. At the end, it was how it had always been since the beginning.
I just wanted to help her and foolishly, I believed I could mend this broken…
