The best way to make popcorn is on the stovetop. Heat up three tablespoons of coconut oil in a stockpot on very high heat, pour in one cup of kernels, and stir them around for a second. Turn off the heat when there’s about a second between pops. Let set for five minutes to finish.
Season it with olive oil, not butter, and a mix of salt, brown sugar, and cayenne pepper.
Eat it while watching a football game or your favorite sitcom, or while reading about how a poorly trained orange animal is destroying one of the two major political parties in the United States.