Disarming the unarmed

You disarmed me
 but I wasn’t armed
 to begin with
 Mouth agape
 Tribal heartbeat
 Swept up
 Fleeting sense of kismet
 Knowing, “You are the one”
 Then a chuckle
 Because it means nothing
 In a game of letting go
 I’m the Emperor…
 except when it comes
 to letting go
 of my need
 to wake up in a new world
 far from here
 light years away
 To arrive,
 we’d need to break
 time and space
 Thus, my bottom lip protrudes
 in an epic toddler pout
 Because I can’t go back
 to the infatuation I felt
 when I first saw your face
 and even if I could
 I wouldn’t.
 Just because.

Reprogrammed at the speed of light
 Calibrated for the speed of sound
 Moving at the speed of death

I hold the memories fondly
 of what we are in other layers
 of sweet home multiverse
 Where we laugh and win
 and our inner children flourish
 and where I know
 who to be
 how to be
 It’s a perfect storm
 of everything making sense
 In such stark contrast
 to this brooding satire
 that catalyzes these words
 Maybe I’m undead here
 to thrive in those other realms
 but I guess
 I’m just
 having my Jesus delusions

Hey, tongue-in-cheek now
 Interpret at your own peril
 But ignore at mine
 How’s that?
 For nice and impossible?

Oh, stop it
 Just do your thing
 I’ll keep living this dream
 and aiming for out of my league
 and making sports metaphors
 even though I don’t like sports
 And I’ll worry you at times
 But not enough to satisfy me
 Sometimes I just want you to see
 what it’s really like to be me
 But then again, if you could
 I’d feel badly
 So don’t do that.

Sometimes in deep breaths
 the demons relent
 But sometimes I forget to breathe
 for months

Originally published at Andrew L. Hicks.

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