When Transparency Becomes Too Much (My Apology to Everyone)
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I have an apology to make.
These days people’s apologies are often micro-analyzed, so I will choose my words and intentions carefully.
When Kevin Spacey announced that he was gay during his apology about sexual assault allegations, the gay community felt thrown under the bus.
Whether Kevin meant to throw anyone under the bus or not is unknown to anyone but him. I imagine he did not mean for his words to be taken that way, though. In my mind, he was saying, “Well, since this allegation has been brought against me by a man, I will now admit that I prefer men.”
I could be wrong. I could be right. Being wrong or right about this is not the point.
My point is that nothing I say in the following words is meant to throw anyone under the bus. I promise you this from the bottom of my heart. If anyone feels betrayed by me, then tell me in as civil words as you can, and we’ll generate understanding together.
So, here we go.
On December 4, I announced a plan to reveal my master password to the world. That’s my password for email, bank accounts, everything.
I simply said the reasons were to “rip the system” and that I was going to “be the change I wanted to see in the world.”
My reasons go much deeper than that. But the purpose of this post is not to explain myself, it is to apologize.
I’m apologizing because I did not foresee that people would feel extremely betrayed and wounded by my desire for total transparency.
Not everyone is as transparent as I am.
So when I love people, I need to respect their privacy even though it may defy my initial impulse to let everything about my life hang out.
My life involves other people. We’re interconnected. So total transparency on my part is impossible as long as those I am connected with do not consent to it.
Which I have found to make me angry, because I see a reason for everyone to be as transparent as I am, for the sake of a better world.
Alas, it is all about striking a balance between the vision I believe in, and respecting the people who love and support me.
Thus, I am incredibly sorry to those I wounded. I hope that these words are evidence that I understand my wrongdoings and am committed to adjusting my course of action going forward.
Additionally, I apologize for the terrible things I’ve said to my loved ones when I was angry. I won’t go into any more details, because, privacy.
By the end of 2017, I will announce an adjusted version of my plan to release my master password. The adjustment will demonstrate my commitment to respecting the wishes of the people I’ve hurt.
Thank you for your time, everyone, and God bless us all.
Originally published at Andrew L. Hicks.