A View Through the King’s Toilet: Chepstow Castle
I have often admired the beauty and enormity of the Wye river, but never down Chepstow Castle’s toilet before!
These days, they’ve put steel bars across it. I don’t think they’d appreciate you using them for the purpose they were intended. Yet here I stand, gazing at the waves and eddies, thinking of the scene in “Johnny English” where Rowan Atkinson crawls up a sewer only for somebody at the other end to flush: “Pull yourself together! It’s only a bit of poo!”
This is the luxurious bit of Chepstow castle. It cannot be denied that, at home, I am not afforded a bucolic river view to entertain my thoughts as I sit down to perform my ablutions. Other parts of the castle are much older and more primitive. Was there, at one time, a morning duty to empty the chamber pots over the castle wall, I wonder.
This was always intended as a luxurious dwelling as well as a fortress, but a Norman would observe our living standards and be astonished at such luxury, far exceeding that of their kings. Carpets? Carpets were almost unknown in the early middle age, when people dressed from neck to toe, plus hats, in voluminous, heavy wool and furs. Central heating? Practically unheard of since Roman times, and even then, restricted to one or two rooms of the fabulously rich. All windows glazed. Upholstered furniture and sprung beds would not be invented for centuries to come.
Where the Normans would have turned up their noses was in decor. Such utilitarian tastes we have these days, with our plain, plastered, mono-coloured walls, lacking the rich, gaudy colours radiating across every carved feature
William FitzOsbern would have much preferred his walls painted orange in an elaborate criss-cross pattern. We know this because some of the plaster in Chepstow castle’s Great Tower– where William the Conqueror’s childhood playmate entertained the people he wanted to impress — still exists, over a thousand years old.
This is the best feature of Chepstow castle; where others were modified and adapted, demolishing the old bits and tacking on the new, Chepstow for the most part was simply extended with every new technology, presenting the modern visitor with a chronological evolution of castle development.
Intended from the outset as a redoubt — the castle that would stand when others fell — protecting the aquatic highway into the heart of Wales and western England, it was unusual that the Normans constructed it not of wood but, like the Tower of London, of stone from the first. It was built to last, and its purpose on the west banks of the river was always aggressive.
Chepstow Castle and The Norman Conquest
William the Conqueror went to war with England, a confederation of Germanic and Scandinavian communities under an elected ruler. King Harold had no authority over Wales, less a nation than a community of tribes with a common language: Gwent, Glamorgan, Deheubarth, Gwynedd, Powys, Brycheiniog — they could talk, and heavens knows they could fight, but they were no nation, with no ruler, and certainly not the king of England, with whom William the Bastard quarrelled.
None of this withstanding, the Norman lords rampaging across the island in a race to claim this bit and that fealty deigned not to pause at the Severn, but charged across the water and over the lands of those who spoke neither Anglo-Saxon nor Viking.
Everywhere, they threw up their castles and fortifications to defend their new domains, but at Chepstow, with their backs to the Severn should the peasantry ever rise in such ferocity as to defeat the Normans’ other defences, they would make their stand, behind stone walls perched upon high cliffs, with a dock upon a navigable river, with easy access to the sea, to England, to Normandy, to security.
If Normans were thugs, few compared to William Marshall.
Son of a minor knight, squire to another knight, he went with little more than some rusty armour and an old nag to the tournament. Think not of the jousts of Tudor times. Tournaments of the twelfth century were a bunch of bullies of means getting together in a field for a bloody great fight, the aim being to capture one another and offering to set them free for a price.
The ransom would vary depending on the status and wealth of the prisoner. “A king’s ransom” would make the captor rich beyond his wildest dreams.
Whether William Marshall ever captured a king is not recorded, but the tournaments did make him fabulously rich. His construction projects, especially following his advantageous marriage to the heiress to the de Clare estates, stretched from Ireland across south Wales, including Tintern abbey.
Chepstow castle was already a hundred years old in a region that had been quickly subdued, and peacefully if not pacifically dominated for a century.
He set about the second era of building at Chepstow, expanding the castle with the latest technology but also, in a mark of how peaceful Chepstow was, as a luxury home.
The castle no longer reflected a need to keep the peasants under the thumb so much as to impress the hell of them. The gates of Marshall’s castle, constructed according to the very latest shipbuilding techniques, and plated with iron to prevent attackers burning them down, but elaborately adorned with a pretty and complex parquet criss-cross pattern, would impress the hell out of your visitors today; assuming they’d even fit into your door frame, which they probably wouldn’t. If you’d like to measure up, they’re right there, the oldest castle doors in Europe.
Chepstow Castle’s next era
After the Marshalls came the impressively named Roger Bigod.
Although his life was hardly a sedate one, that included the king personally vowing to hang him, as well as leading a private army of 1500 to the Exchequer to emphasize his reluctance to pay more taxes (and Philip Hammond thinks he’s got problems today!), Chepstow was becoming less and less a military risk.
The life of the aristocracy was an itinerant one, endlessly travelling from one castle to another, to spend a few days attending to the estate and the region’s administrative and judicial needs, before moving on to the next castle (it was the most effective means they had to keep down the flea population).
What Roger Bigod wanted at the end of a long day’s uncomfortable — and probably cold and damp — voyage was a nice, comfy home, and Chepstow castle’s transformation from redoubt to luxury home was completed with a new range of apartments at the bottom end of the castle — following William Marshall’s extensions, the main entrance to the far end was a lengthy walk.
The new apartments seem to have been inadequate for Edward I, however. Following his visit in 1284, Roger Bigod started a new tower on the other side of the bailey, providing a lavish guest accommodation.
The Fall of Edward II
Following Edward I’s death, the castle belonged to Edward II, whose major failing was his inability to say no his “favourite,” Hugh de Spenser. What Hugh wanted — money, land, somebody’s head on a spike — Hugh got, and he was assiduously abusing his privilege to carve out a private empire covering most of south Wales. In 1324, Hugh asked for the gateway to his empire, Chepstow castle, and nobody was surprised when the king promptly handed it over.
The queen, meanwhile, had abandoned her husband and was raising an army in France. Edward and Hugh’s power evaporated almost overnight when she landed in East Anglia in 1326, her army swelling mightily as noble after exasperated noble joined her march on London. Stuffing their saddle bags with gold, the king and Hugh galloped west to Chepstow castle.
Did they walk through these baileys? Dine in these halls? Sleep, probably together, in these chambers? William Marshall built a gloriette — a little nookie pad — in the far end of the castle.
And Chepstow Castle’s toilets — was the royal posterior reposed upon them? As I observe the swirling waters below, did His Grace, Edward, by the Grace of God, King of England, Prince of Wales, Lord of Ireland, Duke of Aquitaine and Earl of Chester, take a dump in them? He must have.
Somewhere within these walls, at some time, they agreed to charter a ship from Chepstow’s dock to take them to Ireland where, with all that gold, they probably intended to raise an army of their own, and return to Great Britain to challenge the queen and tear apart the country in civil war.
Edward’s gold. Hugh had no lack of gold of his own stashed in Caerphilly castle, but they weren’t planning to stop there.
The winds were against them. For five days, they bobbed about the Bristol Channel before being forced to dock in Cardiff. Within a few days, they were hunted down and arrested, wandering forlornly in Llantrissant. Both came to a bad end.
Obsolescence
For all that Chepstow castle had been intended as a redoubt for a last stand, the only time it was needed was when castles had been rendered obsolete. Oliver Cromwell’s cannons blasted a gaping breach into the walls in just three days.
Repairs were made after the monarchy’s restoration, with adaptations to use it as a gun emplacement should the civil war erupt again, but for the most part, it was used as a barracks and a prison.
Roger Bigod’s guest-accommodation tower was used for the life imprisonment of one of the signatories of Charles I’s death warrant, Henry Marten; which is why it’s called the Marten Tower today. Most of the regicides had their heads chopped off. Marten somehow engineered his his survival to a ripe old age, in comfort, even permitted to visit the local gentry in town.
The owners of the castle declined to live there. Castles were no longer fashionable. It was even suggested that it would be better to pull it down and use the materials to construct a modern mansion rather than enact repairs.
The lavish apartments were turned into a glass-blower’s foundry during the eighteenth century. The castle’s wards filled up with workshops during the early industrial revolution. In the late 1790’s, Turner painted the castle, a ruin, but still possessing a few roofs. It deteriorated after that.
So now CADW runs it in the name of preserving Wales’ heritage. Their publications will give you an in-depth guide, but signs around the castle provide a good summary.
Children love hunting the ten digital dragons hidden about the castle, visible only on a smart phone. There is so much else to see and do in Chepstow, with its walls and gates, its iron-age fortifications, its elegant Georgian terraces in pastel hues sloping down the hill, but the castle alone exhausted the girls. Nothing to do but find a pub to eat, and them each a full-fat Coke: a surge of caffeine and energy.
The rest of Chepstow will have to await another day.
Jana’s view:
We’ve been talking about doing a “His and Hers” perspective tour of historic sites in Wales for ages, but must admit, we are complete wimps when it comes to the weather.
Every time we planned a journey, it would sink down below freezing, the rain or sleet would hammer down, and we’d look at each other and say “next week, maybe?” I mean really, who wants to wander around Tintern Abbey with sleet pelting you? There’s no roof!
Thankfully during the girls’ half term break, the clouds finally cleared. It’s bitterly cold still, but we really couldn’t keep using the weather as an excuse, and we were eager to get out of the house and stop the girls from battles over mistakes in Minecraft or who’s turn it is to watch YouTube.
I couldn’t bear more time cooped up fighting over electronic devices, what we enjoy is exploring history and going to new places, so we hit the road and went to one we’ve talked about visiting for years.
For Christmas I bought us a family membership to Cadw. For those who aren’t from Wales, Cadw is the biggest national heritage group in Wales, much like the National Trust in England.
It’s an odd sounding name to English-speakers, but there’s a point to it. Cadw means ‘to keep’ or ‘to protect’ in Welsh.
I’ve never been to a Cadw site that I haven’t enjoyed. It’s our favourite kind of a family day out, but if you are going regularly, it can get expensive.
Some sites are free, but the more popular ones are not. Now that we are writing regularly about all things Welsh though, I knew it was time to see more of Wales than we had before, and the idea struck us that we could try to visit all the Cadw sites as a family.
This made the choice of getting Cadw membership a natural. For the cost of a handful of family visits to major sites, you pay for the entire year.
Your membership, besides free entry to Welsh Cadw sites and helping support Welsh heritage, also gives you free admission to any Manx National Heritage properties, and half off at any English Heritage or Historic Scotland sites.
Our pleasant surprise today was that we also got a 10% discount at the gift shop. Our little monkeys will enjoy using that to beg us to get them pencils, jewellery, chocolate and all manner of pester power targets!
A Day Out to Chepstow Castle
I’ve visited Chepstow a few times, but I’ve only ever driven through. It’s one of those places that every time I see it, I say “we really have to come back and explore this town” but I hadn’t returned. It was a treat to finally go back with the time to see more. The main purpose of our daytrip this day was to see the castle. We’ll return later for other sites.
Andrew and I tend to look at these days from rather different perspectives. If he could tolerate university politics, I think he’d secretly love a post as a history lecturer.
He wraps himself into the worlds that were, and runs around imagining what the place was like in its heyday. As an American living in Wales for over 11 years now, I also love the history, but I will confess there’s a side of me that can’t help but gawk at how OLD everything is.
I grew up in an area rich with ancient Native history, but the things we thought of as Western development can’t even hold a candle to things I see all around me everyday in the UK. For instance, I couldn’t help but gawk at the intricate wooden doors of the castle, which have been tested and found to be from no later than the 1190s! 1190! Seriously, chew on that for a moment!
It took me a while to hear mention of the Civil War and to stop thinking of American battles of North vs. South in the Victorian era and to tune my mind to two centuries earlier. Part of what made Chepstow fun is that it was rich in this very history.
While many of the stories you hear around the Civil War here focus on English history, it did still very much impact Wales, and Chepstow is one of those places that is rich in Civil War history.
While part of the fun in these days out is the history, it also has to be fun for the kids. Who hasn’t gone somewhere you knew you’d enjoy, but you were pestered the whole time by bored children?
Our four are between 11 months and 9 years, and Chepstow Castle was that magic blend of interesting for the grown ups and fun for the kids. There was plenty to explore, towers to climb and many wide grassy expanses where they could run around burning off energy.
The Dragons
Something that helped keep the children engaged was Cadw’s Little Dragons activity. They’ve “hidden” 70 baby dragons at seven different castles across Wales.
You’ll need to download the Cadw app to your phones first, but then you turn it on and a compass comes up searching for little dragons.
It notifies you when one is near, and watch your kids squeal as they take turns trying to catch the dragon as a camera image of what you see comes up with the dragon superimposed over it. Think Pokemon Go meets historic castles.
When you find it, you tap on the dragon, and it downloads a card of that dragon, and each of the captured ones shows up on your compass. The goal is to search for all 70 across Wales.
Chepstow is a huge castle, drawn out into several different sections from various eras. At the point that one of the girls felt she’d seen enough, her sisters cried out “No! We can’t leave! We need to find four more dragons!” Score.
It kept them engaged and happy while we could spend time wandering and reading historic info on the plaques. Once we got all ten we were awarded a selfie shot with one of the dragons. I have no idea what will happens when we manage to get all 70! Hopefully we’ll find out.
The castle is a mixed bag for families with pushchairs or wheelchairs. You can say the same of any ancient castle though.
You’ll find obstacles all over in ancient stairs. However, I was impressed that effort has clearly gone in to making it as accessible as possible. You obviously won’t be able to get them up all the towers to see the views of the countryside from a height, however, the stairs on the ground into lower levels will invariably lead to areas that are accessible still by moving further up the trail, which rises, and coming back inside.
All of the castle at ground floor is accessible (although you’ll need someone to open the front gate for you if in a wheelchair). If you’re a parent that has a baby carrier, you’ll be far better placed to see all of the castle. I have some disability issues myself, and I was aching by the end, and my husband had to carry the baby whenever she came out of the chair. It was worth it though.
We finished the castle around 3 pm, and everyone was famished. There aren’t any food facilities at the castle outside of tourist treats you can buy in the gift shop.
We quickly rounded to some of the local pubs for some grub. They looked good, but unfortunately none were serving food that late.
We walked further into town and found a Wetherspoons pub that was open and provided a pretty good meal. Although we prefer to go local rather than a chain, the food was good when nothing else was available, and they were very good at catering for the allergies of a couple of our children. We enjoyed seeing more of the town as we explored.
On the whole, I’d say Chepstow, and Chepstow Castle, is well worth a visit. I’m looking forward to going back to see more, like Tintern Abbey — provided I don’t have to stand in freezing rain with no roof.
