Networking With Scientific Principles
Have you ever noticed what the most popular people have in common?

Have you ever noticed what the most popular people have in common? It’s not because they have the nicest clothing, new tech or money. The most popular people also like the most people. This is in conjunction to the scientific principle of
“we like people who like us”.
Being liked gives people the greatest feeling of safety. When you approach communication and interactions with others, whether it’s at the office, at a conference or out at the park with your kids.. Instead of thinking, how can I be more extroverted, think of it in terms of ..
“how can I just like more people?”
Yes, that’s great — But what about the actual interactions? There are several keys of communication that follow this principle.
(non-verbal) Signal friend not foe.
There are many non-verbal communication traits — to keep this article on topic, I’ll summarize the most important aspects in one sentence. Start with solid eye contact and keep your hands out of your pocket.
(verbal) The approach.
The verbal approach actually doesn’t matter as much as people think. During first interactions, chemical reading and decoding take over, giving verbal interactions an initial back seat.
When we communicate, every question is setting up a response based on what is asked. So asking general questions, such as “what do you do?” signals auto-pilot and is usually a boring topic to people. Understand that, the words you use signal other things for other people. If you say the word “exciting”, the person you’re talking to immediately looks for hits of excitement in their life. If you start with “are you busy lately?” the person immediately looks for busy. Every interaction, cues the other person for these signals (stress, busy, excitement, and so on). This is all controllable in your conversations — Hint.. You’re creating it.
There are two scenarios you can use to direct your conversations. A priming question or a context cue. Here are two examples.
Have you been doing anything exciting lately? — Priming Question.
This wine tastes great. Do you like it? — Context Cue
Think of what signals you are priming when you communicate. This is applicable to texts, emails, phone calls, face to face conversations and so on. By doing this, you’re triggering positive emotions and implying that you don’t just want to have a surface conversation. You’ll begin to control what kind of interaction you want to have and will set yourself up for success.
Measure your success
At the end of your day, go through all of your interpersonal interactions and ask yourself, what does my life look like if every interaction went as best it could? When your actions start mapping back to this principle, you’ll find a lot of these what-if’s become part of your life.
