Open in app

Sign In

Write

Sign In

Mastodon
Andrew Pretzel
Andrew Pretzel

1.8K Followers

Home

About

Published in

Humorous Writings

·Pinned

A Bag of Chips and A Dream

My Journey Into Food Criticism — It all began one fateful Tuesday afternoon as I sat on my couch eating chips and watching reruns. Suddenly, an epiphany struck: I could make a living reviewing food! Despite lacking any culinary expertise beyond being a “connoisseur of junk food” I naively dreamed of becoming a professional food critic…

Satire

2 min read

A Bag of Chips and A Dream
A Bag of Chips and A Dream
Satire

2 min read


Published in

How To Increase Your Followers Number

·Pinned

How to NOT Crowdfund Your Writing

Focus on Building an Authentic Following First — I watched in astonishment as my friend launched his Medium crowdfunding campaign. He was so confident it would succeed. He created an attention-grabbing funding goal, promising donors new articles that would benefit them. He used humor throughout the campaign description to make people laugh. He offered lower donors perks like…

100 Followers On Medium

2 min read

How to NOT Crowdfund Your Writing
How to NOT Crowdfund Your Writing
100 Followers On Medium

2 min read


Published in

The Taoist Online

·Pinned

The Birth of the World’s Great Religions

From Spirits to Scriptures — • “Religion started when the first con man met the first fool.” My uncle chuckled. “I’m just kidding…sort of.” • “Want to hear a Origin of Judaism joke?” He asked. “Moses, Abrahamand Isaac walk into a bar…” I groaned and he laughed. “Lighten up, it’s all in good fun!” •…

Religion

3 min read

The Birth of the World’s Great Religions
The Birth of the World’s Great Religions
Religion

3 min read


Pinned

"Failure" is Just Another Word for "Experience"

Why You Should Be Happy When Things Go Wrong — Failure sucks. There’s no easy way around it. When things don’t go according to plan and you end up disappointed in the results, happiness is probably the last emotion you feel. I've failed plenty in my life. Big failures and little failures. Failures that set me back on my heels…

Life Lessons

2 min read

"Failure" is Just Another Word for "Experience"
"Failure" is Just Another Word for "Experience"
Life Lessons

2 min read


Pinned

My Dog Understands Me Better Than People Do

And Why That’s Perfectly Okay — You could say I’m more of a dog person than a human person. Don’t get me wrong, I love my human friends too, but after many years of life experience, I have to admit that dogs make much better friends than humans. Here are a few reasons why: Dogs love you unconditionally. They don’t…

Dogs

2 min read

My Dog Understands Me Better Than People Do
My Dog Understands Me Better Than People Do
Dogs

2 min read


Published in

How To Increase Your Followers Number

·Pinned

I Made My First $100 On Medium

From Writing at Nights to Racking Up the Lights — I decided to finally start sharing my writing on Medium two months ago. I wanted to prove to myself that I could build an audience by publishing useful content on a consistent schedule, without relying on social media promotions or boosted posts. After two months of writing short essays, tips…

100 Followers On Medium

3 min read

I Made My First $100 On Medium
I Made My First $100 On Medium
100 Followers On Medium

3 min read


Published in

How To Increase Your Followers Number

·Pinned

How to Revive a Dead Article

Bring Your Unsuccessful Articles Back to Life — If you are a Medium writer, you might have come across a situation where one of your articles has not gained the desired traction. After some time, it dies a slow death. It can be quite frustrating to spend hours on a piece, only to have it disappear into the…

Psychology

6 min read

How to Revive a Dead Article
How to Revive a Dead Article
Psychology

6 min read


Published in

The Taoist Online

·Apr 19

Psychotherapy’s Dirty Little Secret

We Have No Idea If it Even Works — Psychotherapy's dirty little secret is that we have no evidence it actually works. Hundreds of studies, thousands of practitioners, and millions of patients hours later, we still need to prove if talk therapy is anything but an expensive waste of time. I know that's a shocker, but it's high time…

Media

3 min read

Psychotherapy’s Dirty Little Secret
Psychotherapy’s Dirty Little Secret
Media

3 min read


Published in

The Taoist Online

·Apr 17

Why You Should Never Take Life Too Seriously

Nobody Gets Out Alive Anyway — Look, I know the truth: nobody gets out of this life alive anyway, so there’s no point in taking it all too seriously! Life’s crap will only give you wrinkles if you frown long enough, I swear. Happiness is found along the way, not at some finish line. I’m here…

Life

3 min read

Why You Should Never Take Life Too Seriously
Why You Should Never Take Life Too Seriously
Life

3 min read


Published in

The Jokester’s Journal

·Apr 17

The New Fitness Trend

Running Away From Your Problems — Hey there! Have I got a new fitness trend for you or what? I’ve discovered the ultimate workout routine for escaping all your annoying little problems. Want to get into the best shape of your life while conveniently avoiding responsibilities? You’re in luck! I’m talking about “running away from your…

Health

2 min read

The New Fitness Trend
The New Fitness Trend
Health

2 min read

Andrew Pretzel

Andrew Pretzel

1.8K Followers

I am a writer and a writer. I put humor into words, and use it as a method of communication. https://medium.com/@andrewpretzel/membership

Following
  • Tony Fahkry

    Tony Fahkry

  • Tovah Rainsong

    Tovah Rainsong

  • ✨ They Make Design ✨

    ✨ They Make Design ✨

  • Terry Larch

    Terry Larch

  • Lorin Braticevici

    Lorin Braticevici

See all (5,049)

Help

Status

Writers

Blog

Careers

Privacy

Terms

About

Text to speech