A little lesson on anxiety attacks

It’s okay to reach out.

So I totally had a major panic attack on Monday. The first day of classes. Literally just the first day.

I scheduled all most of my classes on Monday and Wednesday, with all my heavy classes nearly back to back. The last one was Biology 3, which is class that I thought would be fun and cool. But not at 7 at night. Not with a 7 to 10 lab. Not with the Great Wall of Syllabus I was handed and the “ums” and the “uhs” my professor stuttered.

Needless to say, with the late night, the long day, the freaking death of a class, my body just said no.

And I panicked. I held it in until the class was over but meanwhile, I was holding back the tears, the screaming in my chest, with worry pressing against my skull. When I got out of the class, I immediately started to weep. I pulled out my phone and dialed my best friend, and I told her what was happening.

The following days were cloudy. I couldn’t focus. I felt like I was on a boat in the middle of a storm. My chest was tight and dense. I spent the days on the verge of hysterical tears or in the lowest of lows, wondering if life seriously was worth living.

The problem: I need exactly 13 units to transfer. Without the Bio-hell class, I would have 56. That thought literally caused my nose to bleed.

So I spent the days between two choices. Drop and risk my future or suffer the class.

Long story short, I still have 13 units but I don’t have bio. I somehow got all the units I need and I’m going to be okay.

The thing is, you just got to listen to yourself sometimes. My parents told me to stick with it and so did most people but I just sat down with myself I really thought it through. I asked for help. And my friends pulled through: My best friend got me into another class and another good friend got me in another. Both are transferable. I have my 60 units.

My body told me something wasn’t right. My head was telling me to stay but ever fiber of my heart told me to go. It’s stupid to force yourself to do something that you don’t want to. I learned that you have to just adjust and change what’s wrong.

Anxiety isn’t going to rule me. But it’s a good signal. Sometimes it is a little bit too much of a signal and that’s okay but that sort of response is terrifying.

If you suffer from anxiety, simply go through it. Live it. Be with it. Weep for a while and freak out. But come back, do a little yoga, and refocus your energy into finding a solution.

If your job is causing you anxiety, ask for help. If it’s school, ask for help. If it’s your relationship, ask for help. Simply asking for help can get you all sorts of, well, help. You won’t regret it.

The people who are close to you won’t consider you a burden even though people with anxiety attacks can be pretty intense. They care for you. All you have to do is just let them help you.

Don’t be stubborn. You need your friends like they need you.