Being First?

Andrew Uh
Andrew Uh
Jul 10, 2017 · 1 min read

When a relationship becomes asymmetric, what do you do? Do you either just keep going or do you take a step back? The decision of either or is more difficult because you are dealing with feelings exuded by two people. This decision making process usually comes down to one thing: where do you put yourself in the relationship, first or second?

Putting yourself first is a quality that is learned, not inherited — we condition ourselves to put our interests first time and time again. What undermines us from putting our interest first in certain situations like a relationship is empathy. Empathy forces ourselves to understand and internalize another person’s feelings, creating a mild form of self-deprivation.

Empathy is a quality good in itself; however, it also serves as a catalyst for potential friction and indecision. When it comes to relationships, learning to compartmentalize empathy and prioritizing yourself are going to keep you from states of regret and hurt.

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