Like Nigel Tufnel, I am playing on 11 most of the time. This can be good in small doses and when timed well. When it isn’t, it does not work out well.
I have learned to look for red flags — am I getting louder? am I breathing faster? am I reacting rather than responding? If I can answer yes to any or all of these questions I practice what I call “getting slow”.
First, I stop talking. I do not say whatever it is I want to say. Second, I breathe — slow, controlled, complete breaths for 10 to 15 seconds. This seems like an eternity to me, but it is not for others. The key word here is PRACTICE.
The result is the space I need to THINK, to modulate my tone and tempo, and respond more thoughtfully rather than merely reacting. This practice has saved me from burning a few villages.