
Anger is an emotion, not an action. Like all our emotional states it’s trying to tell us something, the quicker we can take a breath and listen, the better.
Triggered by our fight or flight system, adrenaline rushes in to get us ready to face the threat stemming from our perception that a line has been crossed somehow. This anger can linger aiming for a continuous sense of alertness and readiness for additional threats. Building and building, escalation…regret.
Interrupting this process as early as possible is key, grounding yourself in the moment through your breath, distracting yourself through using your senses, changing your surroundings, walking it out in the fresh air. Recognise early warning signs, be aware of triggers; what is this emotion is telling you? Label your thoughts, take strength from this discipline and build on positive momentum.
I personally don’t struggle with anger, but as a mental health nurse for military veterans, it is a common symptom of the service users I see. Our programme looks at management of this distressing emotion by helping individuals make changes in relation to 4 separate areas: triggers, arousal, thoughts and behaviour.
Develiping self awareness including being aware of triggers is a crucial element of mental wellbeing. Being able to reflect on what triggers your anger and why is an important process. Reducing arousal if triggered involves developing an improved ability in calming the body down. This can be achieved through breathing and grounding techniques. Longer term approaches include a balanced lifestyle, developing mindfulness skills and improving your overall ability to relax.
Challenging assumptions and thinking patterns which are potentially fuelling your anger involves using your ability to ground yourself and rationalise your thoughts. This can include identifying any positive beliefs about your state of anger which is keeping it going and potentially permitting aggressive and damaging outcomes. Whilst changing behaviours involves developing better problem solving approaches and thinking about your communication style.

The more you learn and practise the more in control you will feel, I recommend getselfhelp and also Anxy magazine for further reading.
