Spotlight Q&A: Hope Hall

andy.walton
Aug 28, 2017 · 8 min read
A short film by Hope Hall

This is for betsy hall’ is a unique impressionistic montage crafted by Hope Hall as a gift for her mother, acknowledging her lifelong struggle with anorexia and bulimia. This deeply impactful project is one of many she has developed in her 20 years as a cinematographer, photographer and editor.

Hope Hall has thus far had an astonishing career, with over 40 short films selected for prestigious film festivals worldwide, she also lays claim to being Barack Obama’s presidential videographer for 6 years. This fact alone speaks volumes for Hope’s ability to capture stories in motion. But it is her ability to relate to the importance of mental wellbeing, whilst building her prestigious career, which had stood out to NowandAfterwards. A reflection on the therapeutic process from an early age led to developing mindset tools to maintain her own wellbeing, which she has since incorporated into her work whilst mentoring students and presenting talks about her craft.

Hope in her role as the former President Barrack Obama’s Principal Videographer

As part of the Spotlight Q&A series it’s a pleasure to be able to present further words direct from Hope as she discusses the origins of her deeply personal project ‘this is for betsy hall’, along with her inspirations, motivations and methods of managing her own mental health.

How did the idea originate?

I’ve been trying to reach my mom, through letters, phone calls, long talks during visits and even once staying up deep into the night, facing each other on the bed, laughing and crying, trying to get through, trying to breach the pathological narcissist wall, for as long as I can remember. When I was in grad school I challenged myself to do the hardest thing possible, while I had a break from the world of commerce and the support and freedom of the art school I was in. So, suddenly, I realized: film, through its mashing together of picture and sound, is the closest thing to experience I can present to my mom, so I would try to convey what it’s like to love her and to be her daughter through the relationship of motion picture and music over time, also known as cinema! I found myself paralyzed at so many junctures in the struggle of making a personal film, and then I found the key to loosening up in those difficult moments: I would imagine handing her the finished 16mm film, physically handing it to her, as a gift. Then I would know exactly how to proceed. I stuck with that tone, of the gift, of a gift for her, and that guided me through the darkness of the process.

What are the goals for the project?

My mom not only saw the film and gave her blessing for showing it publicly, but also accompanied me to Sundance, as did my brother, sister, father and step-mother. On the last day of the festival, as the glitz died down, people were heading home, my brother, mom and I attended the film’s final screening. Instead of a packed house and the excitement of a q&a afterwards looming, we were just a few people in the theater, accompanied only by a few pieces of forlorn, stale popcorn on the floor. It was a series of shorts, and ours came up about halfway through. By that time, we were all a bit antsy. About 30 seconds in to the film, a woman about my mom’s age, who was sitting in the row ahead of us, just starts bawling, audibly. My mom is unnerved and clenches my brother and my hands, throwing the woman dagger looks with her eyes. But the bawling continues, unabated, so we all just have to adjust. And in that adjustment, something shifted. By the end of the movie, my mom’s grip on both my brother and my hands is death-like. And as the final shot comes up, of her coming up an escalator, in slow-mo, I turn to look at my mom, and she has tears making their way down her cheeks. As the credits roll and my brother’s beautiful guitar score winds down, she turns to me and says the words that I had longed for, unconsciously and consciously, for my whole life: “I think I hear you now.”

As the credits roll and my brother’s beautiful guitar score winds down, she turns to me and says the words that I had longed for, unconsciously and consciously, for my whole life: “I think I hear you now.”

What motivates you?

I have been keenly aware of injustice and my desire to balance out inequality in access to resources has been with me my whole life. I remember, as a five year-old, throwing the electricity cord over the wall to my neighbors who were without power, in Sao Paulo. I have found a phrase for the thread I want to follow, which refers to the epic words uttered by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, about the arc of the moral universe being long but bending towards justice, and it is: The science and art of bending the arc. That is how I describe my course of study, in this life. The work is as much internal as it is external, in that my life — and therefore my work — is only as good as I feel.

“The work is as much internal as it is external, in that my life — and therefore my work — is only as good as I feel.”

How do you find inspiration?

I read, I spin vinyl, I move objects around in my house, I wander, I swim, I people-watch, I listen and talk, I go toward the good, and I wander some more, in nature, on public transportation, on two feet, on my bike, I just love to wander. And deep rest, that is essential.

Obama turns the camera around on Hope

How do you maintain balance?

I love systems, am a big fan, and have developed a couple of systems during this new, post-White House, sacred sabbatical, work only as much as supports the sabbatical and say yes only to giving talks or doing any production work that lights up my eyes. The two systems that support this chapter in these ways are: 1. slow, meditative mornings; 2. seven things a day on the to do list, curated thoughtfully and ranging from hard to easy to middling. Once those things are done, I am free to follow my whim, and usually that involves swimming at sunset in the Pacific Ocean and an evening with friends.

How do you relax?

I think my answer here is the same as what I do to find inspiration, interesting!

How do organise your time?

and I think my answer here is the same as how I maintain balance, also interesting!

What was the turning point to how you viewed mental health?

I have been involved in and interested by the therapeutic process since I was a kid. The first memory I have of soothing and supporting my own mental health and inner life was in my first ballet class, on a Saturday morning at age 11, taught by a wonderful and kooky neighbor. She played Chopin on vinyl and welcomed us into her garage turned ballet studio. With the garage door open and the flora and fauna of Southern California pouring and peeking in, I realized I had a choice in how I spent my time and with whom, and that this feeling, the peaceful joy I felt and sense of ease in my own body, was what I would follow. What followed and flowed from that was a lifetime of exploration of the inner life, of mindfulness through movement, meditation, massage, talk therapy, somatics, acupuncture, and in general an openness to the ever expanding science of health.

How do you deal with ‘what if’ and ‘should have’ thoughts if they play on your mind?

It’s on my mindset sheet, but the phrase “Drop the words and stick with the feeling,” really helps in this situation. Then I scan my body for where the feeling is sitting and I breath into that place. I open my heart and let the feeling flow through, with ease. And then I drop my jaw, let it go, and smile.

When you feel overwhelmed what do you do to cope?

Now this is 100 percent a set up for my mindset sheet!

What is your favourite form of relaxation?

My morning meditation, now called ‘slow mornings’ is something I now look forward to, whereas for a long time I felt more mixed about it. I think what changed that is time, I’ve now been doing it since 2011, and i’ve added some wonderful phrases to the meditation. It started with “I’m resting my mind on my breath,” but now i’ve added the words Love and Safety, and then the phrase, “Isn’t it wonderful just to sit still here for a minute?” and it’s true, it’s wonderful!

When was the last time you got involved in a new hobby? what was it and how did it benefit your wellbeing?

I learned a lot about moss while on the most recent artist residency I did, and it was a lifelong dream of mine to make work with moss. I collected it (sustainably so!), learned how to paint with it, made terrariums, and made a little moss place in the crook of a tree that was big enough for sitting. I still smile when I think of that little moss place!

What is your recommended reading to inform and inspire?

I am a huge fan of Pema Chodron, she’s one of the few writers and teachers on mindfulness who I can recommend wholeheartedly, without caveats. Her clarity and insight are epic and her writing style is just great, with some humor and her voice coming through right when you need it.

Recommended websites/blogs on mental wellbeing

Hmmmmm, well, I do check my horoscope each morning on astro.com, and get a daily email that I love reading before any other emails, it’s from Tricycle magazine, and I read both of those after I stretch, meditate, write in my journal, and then do ten minutes of free writing on my computer that no one will ever read. I cherish my slow mornings!

Recommended movies to soothe or inspire?

I Am Love, Captain Fantastic, Rivers and Tides, Searching for Sugarman, Purple Rain, A Room With a View, Princess Bride, Time of the Gypsies, The Devil and Daniel Johnston, The Best of Youth

With thanks to Hope Hall

Spotlight Q&A is shining a light on the projects and people helping to make mental wellbeing part of everyday conversation. NowandAfterwards will be posting a new Q&A every week. For more information or to nominate yourself or others please visit Spotlight Q&A.

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