Pastoral Sabbatical
6 Why and How Reflections after Sabbatical #2
My Backstory
I had to take a retreat to recover from my very rough sabbatical. This is not what I was hoping for. Not at all!
So what do I know about sabbaticals? Well, in my ten years as a church planter and pastor, I have now taken two. The first felt deeply meaningful, like a landmark life experience, and it even led to my first foray into memoir writing. The second felt like a complete unraveling, in which I dipped further into depression than ever before and felt nearly unfit to return. The retreat afterward though, revealed that it was also good and the difficult process was very needed. If I hadn’t done the sabbatical, I would still be unaware of how poorly I was doing at the soul level. My church planting mentor planted a church that “failed” and one that did not. There’s something to knowing the experience of both. So that’s what I have to offer.
I’ll begin with the most difficult question. What IS a sabbatical?
1. Sabbatical is Soul Rest
At the core of the call to Sabbath, is the call to rest. Even the land of the ancients was to lay fallow, to cease it’s striving. The trouble with ministry, is that much of the work is internal. Like the land, the work is fueled from beneath the surface, where the roots take hold, in the realm of the unseen. Sure, we may run around to some meetings, plan events, and deliver a message, but the work of the true minister is what fuels the activity. The work is mental, spiritual, and emotional. It’s the same work from which one engages with God, nourishes a marriage, parents a child, and fosters a friendship. It’s the work that often continues in the background when you sit down for coffee. It shapes the way you read a book or an article, on the hunt for nuggets of wisdom, sermon illustrations, and bridge concepts to help an unbeliever connect to the language of faith.
What does it look like to rest from this work? I suppose that depends on you to some degree. I don’t have a favorite personality test, but most of us have done one. If the one you did was thorough, you may have some clues here. If not, you can probably imagine the feeling. The feeling of lightheartedness or, at least, the feeling of shedding spiritual weight. My first sabbatical landed, quite by God’s mercy, just after the death of my father. There would be no lightheartedness for me, or so I thought. What I did find, was God’s lifting of my burden upon to his own shoulders. Did not Jesus say, that we will “find rest” for our souls when we experience him bearing our burden with us? So how do YOU get to the place where that experience is possible?
Here you need to ask yourself questions about how you re-charge and clear the decks. For me, and I know this from experience and several assessments (Birkman / Enneagram), I need time alone AND something alternative to do. Here, it’s important to grasp what it looks like to enter the place of being at rest in your soul and to lay down the inner work of ministry. If I only have space and time abundant, my head will be doing what it does when I work. I’ve found that it’s helpful for me to engage in a creative alternative. On my first sabbatical, I went on a road trip and journaled about my father. My intention was to turn it into a memoir. I found that the most soul restful parts were the adventures, the type-setting and graphic design, and the restoration work I did on an old Ford truck. That would be utterly unrestful for some! This is why you need to ask yourself, and a few others who want to see you rest, what that might look like for you.
2. Sabbatical Requires Space
On my second sabbatical, I failed to make space for these things to occur. This time, I had just passed through the fires of doing ministry mid and post-Covid. The year 2021 for us, as it was for many, included the most relational losses of my lifetime. I’ve heard (though am yet to find the original source) that most people lose five to seven relationships in a lifetime, and a pastor loses five to seven a year. I catalogued my ministry losses, and my average is 7.5. The year that pushed that number up, was 2021. We didn’t just lose church members, but core friendships. And we had a number of other significant challenges as a church and family. It was awful. I knew this was the case, and that I needed to reflect and recover, but I wasn’t able to make the space during my sabbatical months. My months off being in the same town, same neighborhood, and same house where it all happened were torturous. There I was, with nothing to do, but sit in the reminders of all that we’d lost and been through.
Though I have just acknowledged that everyone is different, it’s nearly impossible for me to think of a scenario in which a sabbatical can be effective without creating significant space from the contexts in which your mind is doing the work of ministry, especially if it’s weighing on your soul. I highly recommend finding a way to take in something that you experience as profound, beautiful, relaxing, or joyous. I highly recommend that you vacate places full of complexity, and spend time in spaces that refresh you, or are neutral at least.
A sabbatical is not a family or couples vacation. I highly recommend that you define it as such for those you lead alongside. Everyone should vacate from time to time, to visit friends, family, and interesting places. A sabbatical is different. Depending on your family, a vacation may be devoid of space for soul rest, and full of demand upon the ministerial parts of your mind and heart. Some people can take sabbatical with their family, others cannot and it’s ok to consider which is your scenario. If you don’t, you risk spending a lot of time not resting your soul at all.
3. Sabbatical must be Substantial
At our church, we’ve built in that pastors and elders on staff receive two weeks of sabbatical per year, and can bank those weeks for up to four years. My practice, which I highly recommend, is to take at least a two month block off for sabbatical, which does not diminish your vacation time for the year. If the time isn’t substantial, the chances of you entering soul rest are very low. It also takes time to transition into and out of an effective sabbatical.
For this reason, expect and plan for an on-ramp and off-ramp period. For me, and I suspect for many, it is impossible to slam on the brakes spiritually, without inertia pushing you forward. If you expect this, it will be less frustrating. For me, a long trip from one place to another may suffice as an on-ramp. For others, it may require more time. During this time, you should expect to think and even worry about your ministry context. You may remember something you must do before you continue sabbatical, and it’s ok to do it. The goal is to do this less and less. The off-ramp is similar. It’s probably not best to re-enter with a full regularly scheduled day and the expectation that you’d process months of emails. Ideally, re-enter with a stripped down schedule, allowing yourself to catch up with the tasks and re-orient to being around your co-workers and parishioners.
4. Sabbatical is best when Simple
One of the hallmark characteristics of ministry is the diversity of roles that get lumped under the singular title. For bivocational ministers such as myself, this is even more acute. A typical pastor may be required to do what the business world would label customer service, public speaking, administration, therapy, business administration, and many are also the church handyman. This diversity of roles to play can be great for those who love variety, and absolutely overwhelming for those who don’t. No matter your experience, a sabbatical should be far more simple. Don’t try to do too much, even if it may feel like respite from your regular work. If there’s way too much that you desire to do on your mind, you probably need to add elements of those activities into your weekly practice of sabbath. In my case, I am attempting to add more regular and non-income producing creativity and handiwork.
Here I’ll add a note to the bi-vocational among us, and those who truly do more than one job even if it is under the umbrella word “pastor.” Taking sabbatical may be a little more difficult for you. In my case, since being a lead pastor, I have owned and operated the entities I worked for alongside my pastoral role. This made it possible for me to break from almost all of it. I say almost, because owning comes with it’s own extra layers of responsibility. During my last sabbatical I ended up having to do some business administration I didn’t want to do, but had nobody else with my combination of permission and skill to make it happen. If you don’t have the luxury of being your own boss, I highly recommend that you get ahead of the process and ask for as much time off as possible. Bank sick time and vacation time if you have to, and use the time you can’t get off to be part of your on and off ramps, to the effect that you are able to incrementally move toward and out of the soul rest pattern.
5. Sabbatical Unravels when not Structured
Structure? Isn’t this what we are trying to get away from? Perhaps it may feel like that, but it’s true that if you don’t plan to do something, you probably won’t do it in the end, and this includes rest for your soul. It’s quite ingenious that God gave us a structure for the week, including a command to rest as a creation ordinance. Without this structure, how much worse at rest and worship would we be? I submit that the same is true for a sabbatical. It must be a part of the structure of your job description, of the year in which you take it, and it should be planned out ahead of time as much as possible.
If you don’t have a built-in sabbatical in your job description, you need to start there! A pastor I met recently reached his limits according to his wife, and went to the church to ask for a sabbatical. They called him in for a special meeting mid-way because they were afraid he was in the midst of quitting. Planning for a sabbatical is best for you, and the other people of your church. It helps you all agree beforehand that this is necessary, not just when you’re on the brink of burnout. Don’t build one based merely on your felt needs, or the sense of plausibility in the minds of your board or co-leaders. Refer to the best practices of others, and design something that isn’t limited by your current sense of it’s necessity.
Once sabbatical is built-in, you’ll need to make sure you’re able to move into it well. This does not happen best at the last minute. My first sabbatical had to be mapped out early because it involved travel and accommodations. This worked to my advantage. I was able to rest within the preparation I’d done before. An unplanned sabbatical will be one in which you problem solve along the way, and this will become your new ministry to yourself. Designing a year that supports your sabbatical is huge. My last sabbatical ended up disrupted because of delays in a small building project at the church. You can’t avoid all mishaps, but better planning could have made a difference in my case. If at all possible, delegate the authority needed to stand in your place and make decisions for you to a trusted person or team in your ministry. This can help where you fall short.
6. Sabbatical Requires Support
You can’t go on sabbatical without support; simple as that. But the support you need isn’t limited to covering your tasks. You need people cheering you on, and encouraging you to remain committed to finding rest for your soul. I am beyond grateful to say, that for the most part, I have had this level of encouragement from the people and co-leaders of my church during both sabbaticals. It’s made a huge difference. They have granted me space when I’ve asked for it, and stepped in to listen to and encourage me when it wasn’t going so well. When I opened with the fact that I needed a retreat to recover from my second sabbatical, the beautiful part of the story is that it was my elders’ idea and I heard about nothing but prayerful support from our people. I realize how fortunate I am, but no matter what, you’ll need some level of support to make this work!
At the very least, you do need others to step in to do your tasks. You may need to reach out to your body of churches, leaders of other churches, retired ministers in your area, or mature believers in your congregation. I was very nervous about entrusting others to lead during my first sabbatical, but was far more encouraged to return and find that everything was fine. Exactly how I would have done it? Nope. But fine. And to find rest for your soul, you’ll have to live with that! Beyond your tasks, delegate your authority to specific people for the duration of the time. This is critical. If there are issues you won’t allow to be handled without you, then clearly define which ones are which and let them handle as much as possible. If you can (I still aspire to this) let someone else handle your emails and voicemails.
Finally, ask your congregation and leaders to pray for you before and after your sabbatical. Though the idea of sabbatical is rest for your soul, you’ll often find that dark visions emerge when the dust of life settles. Often there are un-explored feelings and thoughts that get tamped down by the work of ministry, and the process of resting allows them to emerge and confront us. My second sabbatical was far more haunted than the first, and I could sense the enemy’s intent to harm me. The truth is, that these areas of darkness had been there all along, but I just wasn’t able to see them. It is a mercy of God to see spiritual reality, and our Good Shepherd comforts and protects us in the valley of the shadow of death. Anticipate this possibility, and invite your people to pray for your strengthening and protection, as well as for times of joy in God’s presence.
The Kineo Center came along side me in profound ways, as a recovered from my rough second sabbatical. They now offer a sabbatical pathway. I highly recommend them if you’re needing some support!
https://www.thekineocenter.com/sabbatical-pathway
