Bacchanalian Honky Tonk Blues

In honor of Bob Dylan winning the Nobel prize for Literature, my homage/parody of the great wordsmith, particularly songs of his such as ‘Highway 61’ and ‘Maggie’s Farm’

Well, the Great Whore of Babylon was on my tail;
I tried to evade her, but to no avail
I searched high and low for a Holy Grail, but all I could find
was a Rusty Nail;
I wound up with the Whore, bedding down by the Nile
in a seedy hotel called ‘The Crocodile’
And she said to me, ‘Boy, your lot ain’t cast;
you can go when you please, but don’t come too fast!’

Then the Circus Maximus rolled into town
with a whole lot of lions and a couple of clowns;
Nero and Cicero had front row seats; they were reciting Ovid
but it came out like Keats
And the Master of Ceremonies was Bobby D,
who called our attention to Rings 1, 2 and 3
and said, ‘It don’t matter what stage you are on, cuz it’s all just a show
but it must go on!”

I was going quietly into the night, when the Sheriff of Nottingham came,
looking to fight!
He called to his officers, one by one, and they showed me 
the business ends of their guns;
I said, “Sheriff, what’s this? I’ve done nothing wrong! I’m just finding
the rhymes to the lines of my song”
and he said, “That don’t matter none, you’ll do time. You’ll be
breaking rocks ‘fore the church bells chime!”

Soooo… into Sherwood Forest, I made my escape
after Sherlock Holmes kindly loaned me his cape
I lived there for a while with the elves and gnomes 
(who were all good friends of Mr. Holmes)
But I knew it was finally time to leave, when the Queen of the Fairies
pulled on my sleeve, and said “You best get while the gettin’s good,
cuz this all belongs to Robing Hood!”

Then the Archduke of Canterbury, with seven Cornish hens
tried to turn the Hound of the Baskervilles 
into Man’s Best Friend
while the Caliph, on camelback, flashed his scimitar
and the Naiads gave Perseus a hand-rolled cigar 
We all went down to the Festival, wearing jewels and beads
where Jesus was talkin’ bout them mustard seeds,
and He said, as He threw the seeds into the air,
“If you know where you’re goin’, you ain’t goin’ nowhere!”