Adam Carolla’s Unfunny Sideshow
Like ‘Groundhog Day’ but not funny
I’ll admit one thing: I don’t know much of anything about Adam Carolla’s origins. Like a lot of young people who grew up in the 1980s, watching MTV was a part of my life. I first saw Carolla when he just showed up one day on our TV screens.
By the mid-90s, MTV had begun to focus much more, and very regrettably, on non-music programming. But in 1996, at age 24, I was still tuned in solely for what music MTV still did play. Among my favorites were weekly video shows like 120 Minutes and live specials such as MTV Unplugged.
Later that year, the Viacom-owned TV network aired a hammy new show called Loveline. The call-in talk show starred Dr. Drew Pinsky as the main host with Carolla as his comical sidekick.
Prior to then, Loveline had a long run as a Los Angeles call-in radio show, and soon became a nightly fixture on MTV, whether or not the rest of Generation X wanted it to be. Like millions of TV viewers, I had never heard of either doctor/sex “expert” Pinsky nor comedian Carolla. And like most of my generational cohort, I not only turned off MTV each night once Loveline came on, but had simlar thoughts to others who’d seen the show.
“Who’s the quack? and “Who’s the dork?” were two things I heard fellow MTV watchers say. My other thought about Carolla at the time Loveline premiered was, “Whose nephew at Viacom is this guy?”
Comedian or professional heckler?
Perhaps you might think I’m being harsh on Adam Carolla by insinuating that he is not talented enough to have any occupation in television. And if so, I get it. (But, you’re wrong.)
You’re probably thinking, “He’s not so bad,” or “he’s had a long run on TV!” But if we put our heads together, I bet neither one of us could think of a comedy film Carolla has ever been in, nor a signature joke that defined his so-called career. And that’s not surprising, because—professional comedian or not—he isn’t funny.
As for the show, Carolla’s part in Loveline’s two-person nightly act was like an old Abbott and Costello bit. And a very bad one at that.
Each episode, Pinsky played the straight man, the serious guy—and after saying something presumably meant as “advice” for Loveline’s listeners, Carolla would chime in with his own commentary in the form of ersatz advice or random, unrelated comments.
Loveline’s callers—you could tell by their voices—were typically in their late teens or early twenties, often young women. Participants would ask about serious things that would later become typical MTV topics: Teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, pornography, sex with multiple partners. Even oddball subjects like incest and sex with food were discussed fairly often.
Like clockwork, Pinsky would let callers speak for about 90 seconds, hear their problem, and then disseminate doctorly, albeit generic advice. After Pinsky’s part was done, Carolla would lampoon or insult the caller.
In their time as Loveline hosts, Pinsky and Carolla did little more than help MTV further fetishize sex and women for ratings and profit. It’s no wonder the MTV’s flagship shows are now gawking drivel in the model of “Teen Mom” and “Jersey Shore.”
It’s also no wonder both men went onto to greater careers as the nation’s shittiest health and wellness advisors.
Griping old man, internet bully
Fast forward to 2022, and what is the dumber of Loveline’s duo, Adam Carolla, doing with his life?
OK, yes, he’s had a successful run as a podcaster. Prior to that, Carolla got himself on The Man Show and Crank Yankers (maybe that uncle again) and even Dancing With The Stars, a game show that almost anyone can join without the nuisance of having talent. (Take Sean Spicer as an example.)
But since Carolla’s greatest and most historic TV moments, he now spends his days on the internet griping about the changing face of our country and its troubles, while also bashing any sort of public discourse he doesn’t like. The unfunny comic has also picked up a side hustle as a darling of the anti-science right.
It all fits when you think about it—that a guy who got his start heckling vulnerable kids on live TV would end up as an almost regular at Fox News and on the right-wing radio circuit. It fits that the guy who makes fun of teens calling for advice about STDs would be spewing conspiracy nonsense about other diseases, namely COVID-19.
It also fits that Carolla, ambling at the near-end of his television career—would hang with disgraced ex-host Bill O’Reilly, Laura Ingraham and others who bully the victims of the 2018 Parkland High School shooting. Carolla’s shambolic clown act on Loveline was a precursor to all that, a primer.
But why not? It’s not like Carolla can get a standup gig. He doesn’t have any standup material (and never did.) He’s not Bill Burr or Jeff Ross. He’s no Iliza Shlesinger, Anthony Jeselnik, or even a Ken Jeong. They’re real comedians.
Without knowing it, Adam Carolla is starring in a new, worse version of the classic Bill Murray movie ‘Groundhog Day.’
Supposedly he keeps getting “canceled” by The Left, but he keeps showing up on our screens.
And since he can’t get reliable comedy work, Carolla has adopted a new project: griping about “The Woke Left.” He’s mad that “The Left” is making people do sensible, mundane things. Like calling out racism and ignorance. Or getting vaccinated so you don’t die.
He also likes to attack public health professionals on Twitter— epidemiologists, virologists, or anyone who might dare talk science.
But what Carolla is most butthurt about is ironically comical. That is, that he seems to think that giving advice about the human body is the sole territory of radio quacks like him.
Cancelled, but not really
It’s hard to know if Carolla has simply jumped on a political bandwagon just because it’s a place where he thinks he’ll be successful, since his comedy career is kaput. Does Carolla truly think that masks are dangerous, or that COVID is fake and that vaccinations are harmful? That’s hard to know too.
Then again and to his credit, Carolla has mastered the practice of immunity all along.
He’s been blessed with the special immunity afforded to an unfunny person in the comedy business. Should work with COVID-19, shouldn’t it?
But it’s worse than that for us TV viewers. Without knowing it, Adam Carolla is starring in a new and worse version of the classic Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day. Supposedly he keeps getting “canceled” by The Left, but keeps showing up on our screens. Day after day after day.
The good thing about the U.S. Constitution—so long as we still have it—is that it guarantees free speech, free will, and open debate on all subjects. Even if Carolla thinks that anyone else who uses it is somehow picking on him.
Yet, Carolla never could have had the career he has had in a different country. One in which even the not funny like him can make it in comedy for so long. Especially that other, less free, much more polarized and authoritarian version of America that he seems to believe or hopes he’s living in.
Andy Frye has written for Forbes and Rolling Stone, and his time travel book Ninety Days In The 90s comes out this spring.
