What Would You Tell Your 16 Year Old Self?

Let me prefix this with the fact I am not a guru, I don’t know what I am doing, I’m “only 23”, I haven’t done anything typically notable or puts in me in a position worthy of giving advice. However, if there is one person I am more than qualified to give advice to, it’s myself. More specifically a 16 year old version of me.

So there I am. 16, in France, already rocking a camera around my neck as I am most of the time these days. Look at that face, I had no idea I would end up where I am, graduated university with a Masters of Research in Climate and Atmospheric Science, got my black belt in Aikido, now living in another country, teaching, learning another language, being engaged and trying to do a whole host of anything else I can.

You could argue that if I hadn’t have gone the path I’ve gone then I wouldn’t be at the stage now where I could give myself advice like this. Take this article not to be an article of regret, I wouldn’t change a thing that has happened, but I think I could have done with more guidance to at least direct my mentality and approach to life in a more positive and productive way earlier on. Oh and please disagree with me, I would love to hear your opinions on my advice, what would you say to yourself? What would you say to that hopeful little face graced with moppy hair?

The world Isn’t that scary

It’s just not. On the whole, the world isn’t that scary, yes it’s easy to compound all the things that scare us into one big terrifying list; climate change, ISIS, debt, unemployment, relationships, cultures and languages we don’t understand, the internet. Realistically how often are you actually scared of these things though? What percentage of your day do you dedicate to being afraid of these things? I hope it isn’t much. Compare that with how many non-scary and brilliant things happen every day, the sun rises and sets, every day. Seriously go out and a look at it, you’ll find it doing something twice a day, every day. What I mean by this is that it is not worth thinking “what if” over something unlikely to happen, when it could stop you doing so much. Go out and be scared! It’s the only way you will ever grow.

Take a chance

What works for me, and what I always ask anyone who is worried about something, is working backwards from the worst case scenario. What is the literal worst thing that could happen? The world could end because of something you did. Unlikely, unless you’re trying to discover the Higgs Boson….but even that bunch of scientists took the risk! If they can theoretically risk the entire planet then you can risk maybe embarrassing yourself once in a while. Most of the time the worst case scenario is you lose some money, or some time, maybe you might hurt yourself a little bit. If it’s not going to cause loss of life then you don’t really have an excuse.

Stop thinking so much

You are neurotic, even now, nearly eight years on, you’re still neurotic. Fight it. Sometimes you have to just stop thinking about things and start doing things. Ideas aren’t worth anything until you transform them, fears aren’t worth anything until they become reality. Before you do anything it is all in your head, and you can fight that. Think less. Do more.

Girls are just people, albeit nicer looking ones

This isn’t always true, there are some real handsome guys out there, but that’s not my point right now. In all seriousness this is good advice for anyone of any age. People who you are attracted to are still people, don’t put people on a pedastal. Get to know anyone and you’ll find they have insecurities too, they have faults too. No-one is inaccessible, you just have to decide whether you’d rather just look at someone like they fell from the sky, or talk to someone like they’re a human being. I’ve found people quite like being spoken to like they are human beings.

Learn a language

Please. Imagine being able to communicate with 335 million people, amazing! You already can. No imagine putting in some effort for a year or two and then you can speak to an extra 414 million people. Also you live in Spain when you’re 23 so if you could learn Spanish sooner that would make my life easier. Thanks. Being able to communicate is one of the greatest things about being human, we can communicate in such a huge array of ways and languages are all so poetic in their own way. So put some effort in and learn another one. Not five or ten, just one more, it’s not that hard if you actually try.

No-one will remember your mistakes, so make them

Hell even I don’t remember all your mistakes, so what does it matter if you mess something up? I can’t even remember all of my GCSE results. Mistakes like that aren’t important, what you learn from them is more important. For example, over the years I have learnt that being honest with people is so brilliant and so important, but I can’t link it to one particular event or mistake that made me learn that. And that one huge life crushing mistake you made last week? No-one you know remembers it, so don’t get hung up on it, learn and move forward.

You will never have money

Sorry. But you don’t need it to be happy. You will owe people money, often and a lot of it. Again don’t worry about it. If it’s any consilation I haven’t found having a lot or a little to make me any notable joy. There will always be things that you want, and always things that you can’t afford. I keep a wish list, of things that are semi-attainable, just not right now. Promising myself that if I come into money, or start to make a bunch more, I can treat myself to those things. Also electric skateboards are a thing in the future and yes I will buy one when I get the chance. Basically just make it work and enjoy the time you have, rather than the money. You will reach the point where the time you have with people you care about is WAY more important than having money.

Your dreams will change, but who you want to be wont

Okay so right now, if I remember rightly, you want to become a musician, great! Perfectly good career choice. However, I will mention that your dreams will change, a lot, constantly, basically none of us know what we want. So far you’ve wanted to be a fireman, a postman (specifically Postman Pat), a weatherman, and Iain Stewart. You’ll change your mind again, and want to work in the Met Office, then want to do a PhD in Leeds, and then a PhD in New Zealand, and then you’ll want to be a cinematographer. Who knows what I’ll want to be tomorrow. What you want to do and have will change, but what won’t change is who you want to be. Don’t ignore that.

Be direct and honest

This doesn’t mean be rude. When you’re learning to be honest and direct you will end up being rude, I still am rude occassionally. I have found that if you tell people what you honestly think, what your actually opinion is and how something made you feel then you can get a lot further, a lot quicker. Plus once you have been doing this for a while, people will learnt to trust what you say. This is equally important and useful because once people trust you everything is so much easier! Overall remember this, if you don’t say what you want to happen, you can’t be angry when it doesn’t.

No-one knows what they’re doing

They don’t, I don’t, you don’t, your teachers don’t, bosses don’t, friends don’t, family don't. No-one. That’s the beauty of the world, just make it up as you go along, everyone else does. All these five year and ten year plans aren’t happening. You’ve never made one and don’t start now. Just see what happens, pretend like you know what’s going on and it’ll work out fine!