finding the reason why…
For years, I have forged my believe that Everything Happens for a Reason. Personally I have had many first hand experiences that yes, what ever happens, if you can reflect on those experiences, connect the dots, arrange those pieces of the puzzles together, you may be able to start seeing the bigger pictures. There’s a purpose in all those seemingly different — disconnected events, good or bad — that took place in the course of your life. It is there and then that you may begin to construct some meanings in your life. Life, your life has meanings after all.
I also read books. Some books even came to me just in the right moments, giving me answers to the big questions I had in my mind. I also watched some movies and met some people. People I met, seemingly out of nowhere, but in that moment, I felt really deeply that that particular meeting was meant to be. We were actually destined to experience that moment.
During the last few months, something really big happened in our family. One of our family members was diagnosed with cancer. It was a really big shock for us. But we, the whole family stood fast, got together and made some big decisions and had him under the best care that he could have. As I said it was months ago.
Now, we have gone into the 7th months. The process has been really hard on him. During the course of these months he recovered a bit and then fell into different — conditions. He rose and fell several times into situations that was worse than before. Being in the outer circle — we can not even dare to imagine the suffering he had to go through since the illness. We can only feel the pain watching him suffer, and the pain, the hard work, the emotional break downs his closed ones had to endure so far — with the end seemed nowhere in sight…
Seeing him in his hospital bed, always bring tears to the corners of our eyes. Tears we tried to hold in as we felt that we have to stay positive to give him all the supports that he needs.
Why?
Why? This question emerged so many times in my mind. Trying to understand why this happens. Why our loved ones? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why now? Why this? Why so long? Why don’t we have any answers? Why doesn’t this come to an end despite all of our efforts? Why, and why and why…
I couldn’t understand why, but deep inside I am trying to believe that there’s a hidden message to all this. There should be a lesson to this, for him, for his family, for our family, for me… Otherwise, all this suffering would be meaningless, it all would be for nothing. The same question lingers on the mind of my sister, something that I found out among all the discussions in the hallway, on a small chair in front of the hospital room.
Answers?
Somewhere between my endless stream of whys in my mind, as I reflect on all this… yesterday I came across a post entitled : Does Everything Happens For a Reason Or Is It The Meaning We Attach To It? written by Tony Fahkry. His post’s title jumped out to my eyes, and slowly I moved my finger to tap on it. I was really hoping that it would provide some answers. And it did, a little bit… or maybe no, I don’t know. I felt a little bit of relief after reading his post. I wrote a small note to Tony to thank for his words.
I felt that I really needed to write down this thoughts. I don’t know why. I have no bad intentions, especially to my loved ones that are in the middle of a very hard times. I feel you, deeply, and with all my heart, I hope that all this would end up beautifully. My heart also goes out to all those with the same situation as ours. Namaste. God bless us all
