Dreaming Eyes


I don’t sleep much anymore.

Shit, I’m kidding myself at this point. I don’t ever sleep.

My mind is constantly racing. Just like I do when I go for a run under the night sky.

I have to depend on pills that trick your mind to thinking it’s tired.

How does that even fucking work?

Another thing for me analyze. That’s just what I need.

Once I’m done with my daily tasks, I’m always thinking what I can do better tomorrow.

I’m just looking forward to when I get to step back into the ocean again.

I’m slowly getting back to what I was. But, for some reason, what I was back then was so damn unhealthy.

I still picture myself back in a conference room in high school with a bunch of teachers and administrators trying to figure out what learning disability I had and if I am somewhere on the autistic scale.

I chuckle at the thought of how dumb those people were and probably still are. Like any of those people gave a flying fuck. They were just looking for that paycheck.

Yeah, you truly wanted to help us and see us succeed.

I will say not all were like that. There were a very few amount of teachers I had over the years that actually gave a shit. One in particular that broke the rules and handed my ass to me.

What he said still sticks with me to this day.

I still hear him.

Jesus, I think I’m schizophrenic at this point.

I’m on the verge of taking another risk. These opportunities just keep coming at me and because I love adrenaline so much, I fucking go for it.

While everyone else just huddles in a damn corner and shivers.

I think that some of the most talented people in the world are Autistic.

Few people tend to look beyond their flaws and see the real beauty of them.

Who knows. Maybe I am autistic.

Maybe those teachers were right.

Regardless, I’m still here. I’m still breathing.

I’m not done, yet.

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