Why do I set myself up for a challenge?
This is my mood right now. I have been cycling more recently and I have realised that I am slow — well comparing myself to others I see around me. I love exercising but cycling recently has been challenging for me. I think because I have taken falls so I am quite cautious. Not many, but I really take my time, especially cycling in London. The Mayor of London plus local councils have added more cycle lanes and for that I am grateful but there are still uneven roads, uncaring drivers and also some cyclists who are so gung-ho as they speed through traffic lights — my heart is in my mouth. But I still carry on.
Next month is a major challenge for me. I am taking part in Ride London. I’ve signed up for the 60-mile stretch. Google directions have indicated that it is 4 hours. As I said I am nervous also the most I’ve cycled is about 38 miles (61 km). I am thinking it is going to take me about 6 hours! I don’t like to swear but @*ck! 6 hours on a bike! I’ve started to pray now.
Last weekend I cycled with an all-female group BGDB-London. They are brilliant and really encouraging. They have organised rides every two weeks. I figured that I love meeting people, this group is so welcoming and that they would help with the training. Win win.
Early last Saturday morning the BGDB group met outside Buckingham Palace and the destination was Windsor Castle — 38 miles away. Even the thought of it had my legs aching already. The day was perfect for a long ride. Not too hot but bright sun and a nice breeze. We made a couple of stops on the way. One at the beautiful Richmond Park, where there were lots of riders in designer cycle clad gear, with their carbon lightweight bikes and here I was with my second-hand bike. They are not going to phase me — I must not look at the shiny new things — look away. Deep down I’m thinking that they look so slick — so super cool. Wondering if those thousands of pounds of equipment kept them pain-free. I’d pay right about now.
Back on the road, we continue to Windsor. We were about forty-five minutes away and as we were approaching a busy roundabout my friend came off her bike on a turn. I was behind her and saw it all happen. My first instincts were to go to her but instead, I stopped the oncoming traffic and after my shouts the ladies in front had come back for us to help my friend out of the road. Cyclists not from our ride checked if she was ok as we moved her to the pavement.
We had to decide if to carry on or to take the train home. Whatever was going to happen I was not leaving her. She decided to push on through. I rate her even though her ankle was beginning to swell. We got to Windsor around 2 pm. It had taken longer than expected. I had high hopes of cycling back to London, but I was being realistic — I was battered, and my friend was in no way cycling again that day. We decided to get the train home. I felt no shame — in fact, I was happy for a while.
At the station, I said to the group leader that I sometimes feel depressed when I reach my destination. The same thing happened last year when I completed my first triathlon. I crossed the finish line and thought ‘Is that it?’ Family and friends were congratulating me, and I just wanted to be alone and cry, as a wave of sadness came over me. I explained to her that it happened again when I got to Windsor Castle. I was so underwhelmed.
The group leader — Karen gave me a little pep talk. After listening to what I had to say she said: “You seem to be concentrating on the destination and not the journey”. She encouraged me to think about the achievements along the way — including the challenges.
So, I did. My challenges apart from my nerves were also physical — it was the countless inclines I moaned about as my legs continued to pedal, but I did them. My thoughts prompted me to think about what a journey it had been. I had to give thanks — I had left my house in East London that morning with my friend and we had cycled to Windsor. I gave thanks for the beautiful sites that I had seen along the route. Most of all I gave thanks to the wonderful women that got me there.
I’m having a few days off over the weekend to focus and rest — I’ll be back on the journey next week.
#Write52
