The Listening Screen

How liberating it feels to sit and stare at a blank computer screen. There is so much to share. I have all the time.. and space… and quiet… and creativity to throw at it..into it..into infinity.

I don’t know what its like to finish a complete sentence without getting interrupted…not necessarily by the demands of my children, or my adoring husband, but by my own accord. My own obsessive thoughts and worries paralyze my ability to completely feel alive.. to feel the moment in which I’m living. I’m missing out somehow, aren’t I? I am not sure how to proceed when my sentence is finished…I start thinking about where to begin.

I think of my toes; from my toes is where I will begin. Like a kid in a candy store faced with too many fantastic choices. I feel the excitement building within me thinking how great and how healing it is to write.. to type..to reflect..to hurt..to smile. Each word that appears on the screen before me is a letting go of “decades old” negativity.

negative energy.

negative emotions.

inadequacy.

judgement.

hatred.

injustice.

misunderstanding.

shame.

guilt.

anger.